We are the masters of our lives but first we must master our minds. One of the first steps is claiming your shit – all of it.
Take responsibility for your actions, make peace with them and move forward. Once on the right path your live will begin to improve.
Blaming other people for your circumstances only gives someone else power over you. Free yourself and take responsibility for your sh*t.
Yeah, accepting responsibility for the mess my life had become? One of the ickiest part of 12 step recovery when I got clean😫
I agree for the most part, but I want to add that we shouldn’t get into a self-blame cycle either. Aspies are prone to this, and this leads to depression. The big and hardest part is letting go of missed opportunities and mistakes. I still replay conversations from years ago and think about what I should have said or done. Forgetting is sometimes my only release. Please be more thoughtful.
Perfectionism is another beast entirely. Want to make that video too.
Controlling my reactions… yes! I can work on that 🙂 Thanks for this!
Practicing not reacting is my preferred course, but it ain’t as easy as it sounds. Lots of passive reactions like leaving the room, but still working on the not reacting completely part. Also, yes, owning your sh*t is HUGE! People are often much more accepting and willing to forgive if you own it. It’s gotten me into some jams, being honest about my mistake, but in the long term, it’s done entirely more good than harm.
If you survive an abuse inflicted outside your power, and it leaves you with things permanently unjustly lost from your life, WHO CREATED THAT CIRCUMSTANCE ?
No one could be more totally angrily determinedly reempowered than me in my total turning on, disowning, denouncing, hurtimg, and wrecking, of my school pressure abusers, and being everything totally different than they planned for me to be. My permanent unjust loss of being a child author still exists.
Unfollowing unless the answer is fair.
I was viciously bullied as well growing up (peers & teachers). Blaming them and dwelling over these abuses (and others) was NOT helpful for my own mental health. Fault doesn’t matter because the situation is over. Moving forward is better than being stuck in your past traumas. You can not get over them unless you let it go. At least that is what I had to do to be free from those who abused me. I had to kick them out of my head.
If I had let go, how would I ever have:
* contributed to causing the school’s loss of support hence eventual closure? Which, by the use of dwelling and blame, made kids safer, ended something that was bad to kids.
* ever discovered that I’m aspie at all? Which revolutionised my life, with practical support and understanding, and with vindication of my anti-school politics? The way teenage psychiatry handled my school emergency had left me unsafe, liberty potentially threatened, to go anywhere near any mental health service for any reason, so I would never have been found aspie that way. I discovered aspieness from its connectedness to school problems, because I maintained interest in the anti-school cause.
* achieved some just recognition for myself and others as wronged child authors, by awareness campaigning about the wrong? Including, published Jan 19, by writing chapter 21 of the multi-writer compilatiion Bittersweet On the Autism Spectrum, including about that and other school issues: contributing to knowledge and posterity, for others’ benefit, by dwelling on it.
Letting go after you are out of a situation is not the same a navigating a situation. I think you misunderstood me completely.
All the actions described I took in adult life after I was out of the situation.
I don’t want to argue. The past has valuable lessons. I still feel like we are misunderstanding one another.
I don’t blame other people, yes we are Masters of Our Own Universe, but for some their best may just not be good enough, failings and personal inadequacies, inabilities to be ‘part of the gang’ may shroud their whole being but it’s their fault, they know it and perhaps some people aren’t born to cope. They understand why and don’t expect others to constantly accommodate then retreat into their own secret world because it’s easier…………………. 🙂 but yes you are right we are Masters of Our Own Universe and must never blame others. (A thought provoking post)
And yes, sometimes life throws us shit balls and we have to take them. We have to keep moving forward.
I like the dialogue this post has produced. Finding the happy medium between owning your own shit, and shaking off the shit off others. I don’t normally follow vlogs, but glad I found you!
I fell victim to a predatory paedophile when 9 and was extremely lucky to survive. For years I had PTSD as a result. Therapy fixed that eventually and that helped me let go both of the self-blame (must have been something wrong I did etc.) and hatred. Letting go of both I could not do without help, but it has liberated me from depression most of the time… Thank you for being provocative – it has been interesting.
Yay for meditations and mindfulness! 😊
..Dope post mi lady 🙂
Thank you!!!
Couldn’t agree more. I try to reinforce this with my son because as a man I want him to be a stand-up guy who owns up. So far he admits when he’s wrong and he takes pride in a job well done. It’s hard at first but then I think it becomes part of who you are. Nice to see it being put out there!😊
Trying to put more good in the world. Goodness knows we have enough junk.
I love this post! It’s so important to take responsibility for our sh*t!! Thanks for checking out my blog too!
Thank you for checking out mine!
Thanks for sharing this. I have met many people who like to blame others for their actions, reactions and behaviors. It’s childish. It’s time for folks to wake up and look in the mirror and possible seek some help. I have met children more connected than some adults. Enjoy the day.
So true. Thanks! It’s not like we ask other people to flush the toilet for us! :/ Errr…..
I always tried to keep my wounded nieces mindful of the all-too-human inclination to slide: when you don’t take responsibility, when you only blame others, you give up your power. Without that power you feel helpless, and helplessness leads to despair. Despair leads to unspeakable things.
I concur. When shit goes side ways it’s best to pick yourself up, dust yourself off. Work out what went wrong and learnt from it and avoid the outcome from repeating itself. It’s how we learn. It’s how we grow. I just wish everybody could get their shit together no matter how young or old? Cheers,H
Yes! Great words! I agree – although I admit I was in my mid twenties when I figured this out.
I think about taking responsibility more like back in the days before I found treatment, both my TLE seizures and my frustration alienated a lot of co-workers and friends (and Asp. left me clueless). My neuro-conditions weren’t my fault but if I wanted to live life with these people in it I couldn’t just say “screw it” and constantly burn my bridges. The ones I lost anyway, well, I probably didn’t need that particular person that badly.
Exactly! People who are not supportive positive forces in your life are not helpful. We have to make a choice to say – “You are not good for me, so you can’t stay.” It is not always easy but realizing you are more mentally healthy without certain people really hepls.