Pride Month – I’m Pansexual! – My NeuroDivergent Journey with Sexual Orientation

Human sexual orientation is a spectrum, like Autism NeuroDiverseity, sexuality is a spectrum.

Just like gender and many of the other things we will be discussing here this month.

I remember the first thing I was ever attracted to and I say thing because it was not a person.

It was when I was very young and it was Sonic the hedgehog, a blue spiky, cartoon character with attitude. (My mom and grandparents certainly remember this.)

I don’t know what it was about dear Sonic. Maybe it was the fact that he wasn’t human and I, myself, at a very young age felt as if maybe I wasn’t some sort of human, before I figured out that I was neurodivergent and was just a different type of human.

Transcript

Hey humans, NeuroRebel here, and this week, continuing with the pride month festivities, I’m going to be sharing with you my journey with sexuality and sexual orientation.

So if you want to hear these details about my personal life, please stay tuned.

Human sexual orientation is a spectrum, like Autism NeuroDiverseity, sexuality is a spectrum.

Just like gender and many of the other things we will be discussing here this month.

I remember the first thing I was ever attracted to and I say thing because it was not a person.

It was when I was very young and it was Sonic the hedgehog, a blue spiky, cartoon character with attitude.

I don’t know what it was about dear Sonic. Maybe it was the fact that he wasn’t human and I, myself, at a very young age felt as if maybe I wasn’t some sort of human, before I figured out that I was neurodivergent and was just a different type of human.

Although I’m going to say Sonic really doesn’t do it for me these days.

I’m sorry. My dear blue hedgehog. You were good to me as a child, but. Now my attractions are much more vast.

I can remember my very first human attractions being my female friends growing up in elementary and middle school. I remember wondering why I would feel the urge to kiss these female friends, when it wasn’t something that it seemed like they were doing to each other.

I kept these urges and desires to myself for many years.

A few years later, in middle school, when we had an eighth grade prom, I came out and asked my first girl out to prom.

I remember, at that time, the fact that I had previously dated and was not denouncing dating men, that it was thought of that I was just an exhibitionist, looking for attention, because I had publicly switched and decided to take a girl to a dan

We’ve still got a lot of fantasizing that is fetish sizing fetishize. I can’t say that word fetish- izing of couples in LGBT relationships.

Imagine if you told someone, Hey, this is this person that I’m really excited and into them and the person said, you’re just doing this for attention, you don’t really like that person.

I went into the workplace. I had a boss who was a lesbian. At the time I identified as being bisexual and this lesbian told me that bisexual people do not exist. I was in fact, just a horny, nymphomaniac pervert that was addicted to sex, and couldn’t pick a gender of people to stick with.

It’s really shocking and painful that one, my boss supervisor in a government agency said something like this to me, but also that this is a lesbian – supposed to be someone within the LGBTQIA plus community.

Unfortunately, I’ve seen some of the worst hatred for people can come from within the communities that people are looking to for safety.

Human sexuality is a fluid spectrum and throughout my life, I’ve kind of floated around the sexuality spectrum. I remember at points in my life. I thought I was a lesbian and then at other points in my life, I thought I must be bisexual.

Now I actually identify as pansexual, because I believe this is a more accurate reflection of the way I relate and am attracted to people.

My attraction to others knows no gender or sex. It is not of consideration to me. It is more in humans and the kind of person they are. Although I’m going to admit that androgyny and people who tend to not conform to gender norms and stereotypes definitely peak my attention. And if there is a look that will get me – that might be the thing is people that don’t necessarily conform. That isn’t a bit attractive, but really I’m attracted to people and the gender of those people, or their gender identities,  is of little to no consideration or hindrance or impact on that attraction that I have.

It’s taken me years to figure that out and really understand it and it’s  mostly personality  that will help me develop a connection with others.

I’m really encouraged to see that now people are more open and out than they were when I was growing up.

When I first started to come out in middle school and high school being someone assigned female at birth, it was thought that me coming out was some kind of desperate cry for attention.

Whereas my male counterparts, my gay friends, my gay male friends were hiding in the closet, afraid someone might discover or find them out. Many of them didn’t come out until after high school and years later, because here in Texas, where I am from, it was not safe for them to do so.

Things are changing, but not fast enough. We still got a lot of work to do on these issues. We won’t be done until Queer people don’t have to come out anymore. We have to come out because it’s automatically assumed, by the general population, that most people are going to be straight unless they speak up and state otherwise.

It’s time to stop assuming. Stop erasing, Queer people. We’re here, we’re Queer. We exist. It’s time to admit that and move on and get used to it.

Not all relationships are by default going to be heterosexual. We should know that now, but still we have to come out and announce that we’re Queer otherwise you’re going to, by default assume we are straight.

Straight is not the norm in society and humanity. Straight is just, what’s been air quotes acceptable for many years.

Queer is what’s been swept under the rug, pushed aside, for straight people, but we’re not broken straight people. We’re not lesser straight people. We are fully Queer, fully fantastic, fabulous Queer People. And that’s a wonderful thing.

When you are able to step into and be empowered in our queer identities, it is something that can help us transcend, but we live in this world that wants  and pushes Queer and NeuroDivergent people to be ashamed of who they are, how they were born, and things that they have no way of changing in their life.

As human beings, we all need to be accepted, loved, and empowered as we are – our strengths, weaknesses, our identities, the parts of us that are inherent and natural.

Unfortunately, we as a society, sometimes try to change things that don’t fit in or that we don’t understand because we fear the unknown, but fear is something that can be very harmful and dangerous, especially fear carried out with ignorance.

Queer people have, unfortunately for many years, been at the wrong end of a lot of ignorance and misunderstanding.  That’s why we have pride month when all of this visibility,  to show the human side of what it is to be an LGBTQIA plus person, because for many of us,  myself included, grew up having little to no representation of people like us in the world.

That’s why a lot of us even discover our identities later in life because we thought we had to be like everyone else and didn’t know that our authentic way of existing could ever be acceptable in this society today, as it is.

All right, humans thank you so much for hanging out with me this week for this video and continuing of the pride month topics.

I hope you will come back next Wednesday and check out next week’s video. Special thank you to my YouTube, Facebook, and Patreon supporters, who do that a little bit of monetary help to support the NeuroDivergent Rebel Blog. 

Closed captioning and transcriptioning are available NeuroDivergentRebel dot com, thanks to those supporters.

I could not do this great content on such a regular basis without the help of the viewers like you.

Also thank you to those of you who are here, whether you are watching, commenting, sharing, interacting, suggesting video ideas, or asking questions, and engaging in the NeuroDivergent Rebel community.

I am incredibly grateful for each and every one of you for being here. You are essential to this blog.  Thank you- each and every one of you.

Alrighty, humans. I will talk to you next week. Remember I put out new videos each and every Wednesday. 

Don’t forget to subscribe, follow, turn on those notifications, so you do not miss an update.

See you soon. Bye humans.

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