In my last piece, Alternatives to ABA: If not ABA… then WHAT? – ABA for “Problem Behaviors,” I shared how behavior can often indicate unmet needs and why squishing “inconvenient behaviors” also may extinguish communications to you that something is wrong.
In the piece’s opening, I mentioned several common ABA goals listed on Autism Speaks’ website (below), and in its closing, I asked my readers which of the items they wanted me to dive into next.
The remaining ABA “goals” were:
- Increasing communication and language
- Learning (to emulate non-autistic) social skills
- Self-care skills
- How to play “appropriately”
- Motor skills
- Academic skills.
The first request I saw was to talk more about “helping Autistic People with learning self-care skills,” – so that is the topic I will cover today.

Helping Autistic People with Self-Care Skills
In our look at helping Autistic People with self-care skills, I would be remiss if I did not first explain why self-care skills can be difficult for many Autistic People.
I type this as I sit here in yesterday’s clothes, with my messy, unbrushed hair pulled back, fly-aways floating around my head like little springs, my face unwashed, and my teeth unbrushed.
I plan to clean myself up later in the day, but because I jumped straight into work (quickly falling into hyperfocus) this morning, inspired and excited about this topic, these things will have to wait.
I’m not seeing anyone today (except David – who won’t judge me for being a mess).
Being hyper-focused on something can be one reason an Autistic Person struggles with self-care tasks (which can seem unimportant to us compared to the thing we’re currently fixated on).
Sometimes, hyper-focusing on something for a while, for me, IS self-care (as long as I’m not focused on something that’s stressing me out).
Autistic self-care sometimes looks different from non-autistic self-care, and Autistic People sometimes need more downtime and time for recovery and self-care because we live in a world that’s exhausting for us (because it doesn’t take our needs into consideration and treats us like we’re lesser).
Self-care in all its forms is something Autistic People should be encouraged to embrace, especially considering how many of us end up burning out as adults (and even as children).
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