Category: Substack

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How Financial Privilege Impacts Our Support Needs as Neurodivergent People

Lyric Holmans

Same Neurotype, Different Reality: Financial Privilege and Neurodivergent Support Needs – How Having Money Changes the Neurodivergent Experience Over the years, I’ve had the immense privilege of meeting many Neurodivergent people worldwide, with a wide range of skills, needs, abilities, backgrounds, and Neurotypes. I’ve also met many who are in extreme poverty, as well as some who’ve managed to find themselves financially privileged (either because they come from wealth or because they were fortunate enough to have skills that capitalism rewards heavily). These two groups of Neurodivergent people (those with wealth and those struggling to get by) move through the … Continue reading How Financial Privilege Impacts Our Support Needs as Neurodivergent People

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A white mask on a white background. A pale hand with red fingernails makes its way up to the mask, placing the pointer finger over the mask’s lips, as if to say “shhh”.

How Being an Autistic Person (with Interpersonal Trauma) Has Impacted My Relationships Over The Years

Lyric Holmans

I wanted to share my experience of being Autistic and how my neurotype has shaped my relationships with other people. However, I have a problem because, in addition to being Autistic, I have also experienced years of interpersonal trauma (due to not knowing I was Autistic for most of my life), which makes it difficult for me to separate which parts of my experiences with others are tied to “Autism” and which parts are because of interpersonal trauma. Continue reading How Being an Autistic Person (with Interpersonal Trauma) Has Impacted My Relationships Over The Years

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The Autistic Burnout and Facing Backlash When We Step Back from The Traditional Workplace

Lyric Holmans

Ten years ago, when I was newly diagnosed as Autistic, I was both mentally and physically unwell.

I had burned out (or had been burned out) by an exploitative employer who treated me and my needs as a problem.

According to my employer at the time, my needs were “unreasonable” because they were things “everyone in the company would like, and it wouldn’t be fair to show me special treatment.”

I wanted to respond that “If everyone wants what I am asking for, then maybe your whole system sucks” (but, being newly identified, I hadn’t found the confidence to do so yet)… so I kept my frustration to myself and quietly started looking for a new job. Continue reading The Autistic Burnout and Facing Backlash When We Step Back from The Traditional Workplace

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I Was Named in a Manosphere Hit Piece for “Gentrifying Autism”. The “Gentrification of Autism” Is a Myth. The Policing Is Real.

Lyric Holmans

Asking Neurodivergent People: Have you ever been accused of “faking” your Neurodivergence?

This summer, I was named in a blog post by some random manosphere dude (along with several others) as someone who, in their opinion, has been “responsible for the gentrification of Autism, ADHD, and other disabilities,” and, according to this man, we are “pretending to be Neurodivergent for clout” and as a way to “excuse our own mediocrity,” and “anti-social,” and other so-called “bad behaviors” that this stranger claims to see in us.

When it happened, one month ago today, I mostly ignored it, but I am deciding to speak up now, because recently, I’ve seen multiple similar pieces dragging other Autistic and ADHD adults using very similar language popping up all over the internet… and I am noticing some patterns. Continue reading I Was Named in a Manosphere Hit Piece for “Gentrifying Autism”. The “Gentrification of Autism” Is a Myth. The Policing Is Real.

Children & Families, Coworkers, Dyspraxia, Masking / Passing, Relationships / Bullies / Friendships, Substack
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If School Felt Like a Prison, You Might Be Neurodivergent – The Hidden Curriculum That Punishes Neurodivergent Kids

Lyric Holmans

Growing up, school was one of the worst experiences of my life, for many reasons.
Unfortunately, though some Neurodivergent young people love and enjoy their school years, for many of us who are Neurodivergent, school can be very difficult because it is often the first system we’re pushed into that is not designed in a way that supports our needs (pressuring us to conform to neuro-normative ideals and norms that may be out of reach for us, especially if we don’t have our basic needs met).

That’s why struggling in school, for many of us, can be one of the first signs that we might be Neurodivergent. Continue reading If School Felt Like a Prison, You Might Be Neurodivergent – The Hidden Curriculum That Punishes Neurodivergent Kids

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A white mask on a white background. A pale hand with red fingernails makes its way up to the mask, placing the pointer finger over the mask’s lips, as if to say “shhh”.

Fawning + Autistic Masking: When Autistic Masking Becomes Fawning and Why We Hide Ourselves Despite the Cost

Lyric Holmans

Autistic masking (also known as camouflaging) is when an Autistic person consciously or subconsciously masks their Autistic traits to blend in with non-autistic people. When we do this, it is not to be manipulative or deceptive. It is a survival skill and can also be tied to trauma responses (such as fawning). More on fawning in a moment. Continue reading Fawning + Autistic Masking: When Autistic Masking Becomes Fawning and Why We Hide Ourselves Despite the Cost

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A photo of 5 books on a rainbow background: Workplace Neurodiversity Diversity Rising by Lyric Rivera (a purple book with a pink brain on the cover), Autism Identity and Me: A Parent and Professional Guide Rebecca Duffus with Lyric Rivera (a grey book with a circle of rainbow dots around it), Autism Identity and me, a Practical Workbook to Empower Autistic Children and Young People Age 10+ (A purple book with a rainbow of circles around it), Neurodivergent Rebel’s The Weight of Normal by Lyric Rivera (a teal book with a pink brain on the cover), and one that is COMING SOON - Autism Identity and Me: A Practical Workbook to Empower Autistic Adults by Rebecca Duffus and Lyric Rivera (a purple book with a rainbow lotus flower on the cover).

It’s Not a Tantrum: What Actually Happens During an Autistic Meltdown

Lyric Holmans

Question for my Autistic readers: Do you have, or have you ever had, a meltdown? If so, how would you describe them to other people? Also, what would you like people to know about them?

What IS an Autistic meltdown?

When an Autistic person has a meltdown, it is an involuntary nervous system response to compounding environmental or internal stressors. Continue reading It’s Not a Tantrum: What Actually Happens During an Autistic Meltdown

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A black and white photo of two disabled children in strait jackets, chained to a radiator in a room with dirty walls and floors.

Autism, ADHD, and Autonomy – The One Thing Neurodivergent and Disabled People Need Most (That Keeps Getting Taken Away)

Lyric Holmans

Autonomy isn’t about doing everything alone. It’s about choosing who sits beside us. For NeuroDivergent and disabled people, that choice is often taken away, sometimes with the best intentions. Here’s what happens when we aren’t allowed to steer our own lives. Continue reading Autism, ADHD, and Autonomy – The One Thing Neurodivergent and Disabled People Need Most (That Keeps Getting Taken Away)

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A young Lyric, with their dog Ripley, looking very miserable in their Easter dress.

You Weren’t the Problem. The System Was. Here’s How I Know.

Lyric Holmans

For most of my life, I believed, falsely, that I was inherently flawed and unworthy of compassion, kindness, and respect (from other people and from myself).

It’s hard to say exactly when, where, and why this feeling of inadequacy started, because my memory is a bit wonky, and multiple events played into it. However, there are a few events in particular that do stand out to me. Continue reading You Weren’t the Problem. The System Was. Here’s How I Know.