Category: Masking / Passing

Masking / Passing, SubstackLeave a comment
Lyric, years ago, with long black hair and pale skin from staying indoors, dressed as in a red hood and red and silver mask.

Growing Up Not Knowing About My Neurodivergent (Autistic and ADHD) Brain and What I Wish I Had Understood Sooner

Lyric Holmans

Question for my late-identified Neurodivergent readers: Is there anything you wish you’d known or understood sooner?

If you could give one piece of advice to your younger, unidentified self, what would it be?

I am Neurodivergent, but I didn’t know it (or even what Neurodivergence or Neurodiversity was) for most of my life.

Being diagnosed Autistic, at the age of 29, a few months shy of my 30th birthday, during a mental health crisis, turned my world upside down. It also saved my life. Continue reading Growing Up Not Knowing About My Neurodivergent (Autistic and ADHD) Brain and What I Wish I Had Understood Sooner

Children & Families, Family, Masking / PassingLeave a comment
Young Lyric, with long black hair and a blank expression, was wearing a paper hat they had made, with a stuffed bulldog beside them as they stood in front of a bookshelf in their grandparent’s home.

Reaching My Breaking Point – I Used to Think My Detachment Was a Superpower. It Was Actually a Survival Skill.

Lyric Holmans

For much of my life, I felt like a passenger in my own body, but a few years ago, after reaching my breaking point when my grandfather and then our oldest dog Rocky both passed away within a few short weeks of one another, something inside me started to change rapidly.

Before that point, I’d been managing. Yet, this moment, holding my grandfather’s hand as they pulled the plug, and then doing the same with Rocky, as his kidneys failed soon after (when we decided the kindest thing we could do for him was to let him go), ended up becoming a tipping point (one that sent all of my carefully balanced dominoes tumbling down). Continue reading Reaching My Breaking Point – I Used to Think My Detachment Was a Superpower. It Was Actually a Survival Skill.

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I Had to Unlearn Shame to Find My Autistic Pride – They Told Me My Autistic Traits Were Flaws. I Know Better Now.

Lyric Holmans

Before I knew it was Autism, I didn’t have Autistic pride – only shame for my Autistic traits. Autistic pride is something I had to grow into. Here’s what changed. Continue reading I Had to Unlearn Shame to Find My Autistic Pride – They Told Me My Autistic Traits Were Flaws. I Know Better Now.

Children & Families, Masking / Passing, Substack1 Comment
‘Ditch the ear defenders: head equips autistic girls for real life‘ with the subtitle “Sarah Wild, who leads Britain’s only autistic girls’ school, says mainstream teachers should make fewer adjustments and tell children it’s OK to feel uncomfortable“ has been making the rounds recently. - with an emoji of Lyric and the word “NO!” in the bottom corner.

Why Do We Celebrate Teachers Who Refuse to Make Adjustments for Disabled Kids?

Lyric Holmans

Sensory distress is not behavioral; it is neurological.

We wouldn’t ask non-autistic children to sit on a chair made of razor blades all day, to teach them that “it’s OK to feel uncomfortable”….

Still, with Autistic people, there is a toxic attitude that “the world isn’t sensory friendly.” This paints us as the problem, instead of challenging the systemic flaws and barriers that make life for Autistic people more difficult.

These “adjustments” that Sarah Wild is so against are disability supports, accommodations that Autistic people need to thrive and be our best selves, that are legally protected in many parts of the world. Continue reading Why Do We Celebrate Teachers Who Refuse to Make Adjustments for Disabled Kids?

Children & Families, Masking / Passing, SubstackLeave a comment
A black and white photo of two disabled children in strait jackets, chained to a radiator in a room with dirty walls and floors.

No, there aren’t suddenly ‘more Autistic people’ or ADHDers. We’ve always been here.

Lyric Holmans

It never fails, multiple times a week, when I share my experience of being Autistic or ADHD, some ignorant waffle feels the need to pop into my comments section with some sort of nonsense such as (but in no way limited to) “You’re not Autistic“ (or ADHD), “Everyone’s Autistic/ADHD or Neurodivergent these days“, “It’s all the chemicals in the food/air/water or the vaccines“. There is also the classic “We didn’t have so many people who are Autistic or ADHD in my day…. and none of it is true.

Just because you didn’t, personally, know any Neurodivergent people when you were growing up, it doesn’t mean we didn’t exist. Continue reading No, there aren’t suddenly ‘more Autistic people’ or ADHDers. We’ve always been here.

Masking / PassingLeave a comment
Lyric Rivera poses in their RV, holding up their latest book, NeuroDivergent Rebel’s The Weight of Normal. Lyric is wearing a black tank too with the words “Refusing assimilation into NeuroTypical society” and blue jeans, and they are smiling at the camera.

“You’re Too Smart to Be Acting This Way” & The Lifelong Harm of Neuronormative Expectations: What My ‘Gifted’ Label Actually Cost Me – A Late-Diagnosed Autistic Perspective

Lyric Holmans

My life with late-identified autism, healing from masking and forced assimilation, and learning about the neurodiversity paradigm, after being diagnosed Autistic at the age of 29.
Continue reading “You’re Too Smart to Be Acting This Way” & The Lifelong Harm of Neuronormative Expectations: What My ‘Gifted’ Label Actually Cost Me – A Late-Diagnosed Autistic Perspective

LGBTQIA+, Masking / Passing1 Comment
NeuroDivergent Rebel's The Weight of Normal by Lyric Rivera - a teal book with purple text and a pink brain, there is also a person holding a heavy boulder on their shoulders - cover text reads: Assimilate or Be Punished: A NeuroDivergent, Queer Memoir of Survival and Awakening in a World That Demands Conformity A Look at the harms and traumas of NeuroDivergent Conversion "Therapy" and other methods of forced assimilation. Sticky post

New Book! NeuroDivergent Rebel’s The Weight of Normal – Preorder NOW (Available 12/16/25)

Lyric Holmans

The Weight of Normal is a raw and powerful memoir of survival and awakening. It is an unflinching indictment of the systems of forced assimilation—the NeuroDivergent and Queer conversion “therapies”—that teach self-abandonment as a virtue. Continue reading New Book! NeuroDivergent Rebel’s The Weight of Normal – Preorder NOW (Available 12/16/25)

Masking / Passing
Lyric Rivera, posing in their RV in a neon teal tank top that reads “refusing assimilation into neurotypical society - NeuroDivergent Rebel” and purple constellation shorts. They are smiling at the camera and a black dog is sleeping behind them on the sofa.

“Let Them Choke”: My Rejection of Other People’s Comfort. I Refuse to Be a Bite-Sized Identity. – My Identity Isn’t a Monolith. Stop Asking It to Be & Why I Won’t ‘Stick to Neurodiversity’

Lyric Holmans

The Impossible Weight of Assimilation for People Who Can’t Blend in – Assimilation Almost Killed Me. Authenticity Saved Me. – For Me Assimilation Was a Slow Death. This Is My Rebellion.
Continue reading “Let Them Choke”: My Rejection of Other People’s Comfort. I Refuse to Be a Bite-Sized Identity. – My Identity Isn’t a Monolith. Stop Asking It to Be & Why I Won’t ‘Stick to Neurodiversity’