Queer, Trans, NeuroDivergent, Autistic: The Human Need for Authenticity

I knew, at the age of four or five, that I wasn’t a girl, but I couldn’t articulate what I knew, and the world told me I was a girl, and I had to get used to that somehow.

I also knew, around the same time, that I was not like other kids, but not knowing I was NeuroDivergent, also meant not having the language to describe that experience either, and falsely believing that I was an inferior, lazy, NeuroTypical child, and then, eventually, a inferior lazy NeuroTypical adult. I held myself to those NeuroTypical standards, even to my own detriment.

I forced myself to fit into their boxes, at the expense of my own mental and physical health.

I held myself to CIS heteronormative standards, often feeling like I was living a lie and pretending to be someone I wasn’t, for the comfort of other people.

I hit for safety, to blend in, and not make waves. I hid to avoid being the target of bullying and harassment, though bullies still managed to find me. That’s what happens when you grow up in a violent, hostile place, where you don’t feel you’re safe, and you are forced into the peripheries of society.

Being invisible was safer and preferable to standing out, so I did my best to be invisible, and it almost killed me.

Eventually, I got to a point where I couldn’t do it anymore. I came to a place where I could no longer maintain the complex social mask that had protected me for most of my life, and when it all fell apart, I found myself in a place of crisis and was diagnosed Autistic at 29. Continue reading Queer, Trans, NeuroDivergent, Autistic: The Human Need for Authenticity

The Damage of Dismissing Autistic People When We Ask For Help

Makeup is just one of many reasons non-autistic people have told me that I couldn’t possibly be Autistic and I’m going to share a few of the other reasons, things I have heard. I’d love for you to share with us things that you have heard as well. Please drop a comment. Continue reading The Damage of Dismissing Autistic People When We Ask For Help

Autism StereoTypes and the Damage they Do to Autistic People

A stereotype is a widely held, but fixed and oversimplified image or idea, of a particular type of person or thing. This week I’m going to be talking more about how stereotypes impact Autistic and NeuroDivergent People. Continue reading Autism StereoTypes and the Damage they Do to Autistic People

Autism and Alcohol – My Autistic Experience with Drinking

From personal experience, I can say that I used to use alcohol because I had social anxiety, and had all of these mandatory work networking happy hours and events, where there was always free alcohol; and alcohol made the anxiety numb, and let me tolerate being in these situations that, if I was listening to my gut, and my self, and how I really felt, I would have chosen not to go to anyway. I was putting a bandaid on things.

One or two drinks, and I noticed that the sensory experience, if it is a bit overwhelming, can sometimes become a bit less intense for me, and it is easier for me to go with the flow a little bit, as my inhibitions go down, but it doesn’t take as much alcohol, as it takes other people, to get me tipsy. Continue reading Autism and Alcohol – My Autistic Experience with Drinking

Autistic and NeuroDivergent Masking – Help! I Don’t Know How to Unmask

NeuroDivergent masking is when a NeuroDivergent Person, a person who is brain may be Autistic, ADHD, dyslexia, dyscalculia, dyspraxia, OCD, et cetera. Is masking or hiding that NeuroDivergence, in order to blend in and appear more NeuroTypical. Continue reading Autistic and NeuroDivergent Masking – Help! I Don’t Know How to Unmask

How NeuroDivergent Masking and Burnout Can Become a Perpetual Cycle

DHD, OCD, whatver… is pressured to hide the parts of them that would out them as having a different brain –  So some NeuroDivergent people learn to hide those struggles and those differences, in order to appear more NeuroTypical. Continue reading How NeuroDivergent Masking and Burnout Can Become a Perpetual Cycle

Image description: The Intersections on The Spectrum podcast logo is a rainbow gradient word cloud in the shape of a person with outstretched arms. An image of Lyric looking up and towards the distance. Lyric is a white passing person of mixed heritage with brown eyes and arched eyebrows. They have a tuft of emerald green hair poking out from under a black hat.

Intersections on the Spectrum: Lyric Holmans

Recently, I had the pleasure of being interviewed for the Podcast Intersections on the Spectrum. In episode of Intersections on the Spectrum we discuss my identities, lobbying against ABA, open relationships, and living in an RV. Continue reading Intersections on the Spectrum: Lyric Holmans

Autistic & NeuroDivergent People’s Invisible Struggles Pt 2: Communication & Emotional Differences

In part one of this video we talked, talked about is my feather here, Autistic sensory issues, masking, and even chronic pain, and how these,, invisible differences can impact Autistic People, and you may not even know that Autistic People are struggling with these things.

Today we’re going to talk more about cognitive processing differences, learning style differences, some of the emotional differences, and how, we process social situations, how some of those differences can impact Autistic People, and how we engage with the world – invisible differences, and invisible things that can cause Autistic People to struggle.
Continue reading Autistic & NeuroDivergent People’s Invisible Struggles Pt 2: Communication & Emotional Differences

I’m Autistic and this is Why I Find People Overwhelming

Before I learned I was Autistic, I didn’t look for information in people’s faces, or their body language, to see how they were feeling or even to see if they were interested in things I was saying. It just never really occurred to me that there was information there and at 29, I started to study what facial expressions and body language means.

That meant I was having really difficult interactions with other people, because I wouldn’t realize I was annoying them, or I wouldn’t read the situation well. Continue reading I’m Autistic and this is Why I Find People Overwhelming

NEW Blue, Pink, black polyamory flag with white circle in the middle, containing a pink heart and blue infinity

Is Polyamory a Choice? – Polyamorous People and Polyamorous Relationships

Polyamorous relationships and polyamorous people are two different things. Just like being in a Queer relationship and being a Queer Person or two different things. A Polyamorous person “is someone who can date, commit to, and/or love more than one person.” Polyamory/Polyamorous Relationships “involves being in multiple relationships with multiple people and building connections, feelings, and commitments with more than one person.”

Continue reading Is Polyamory a Choice? – Polyamorous People and Polyamorous Relationships