Autism & Developing Authentic Relationships – My Autistic Experience

I’m covering a reader question: “wondering if you could cover the topic of connecting with other people, and building friendships while on the spectrum.”

Something else that’s incredibly important, for me, as an Autistic Person, and my relationships with other people, is:

I need people in my life to be willing to accept me for the whole person, my strengths, my weaknesses, all of my identities, my Autistic traits, my me being a Queer Person. All of these things have to be okay.

The people in my life can’t be people who need for me to put parts of myself away, when I’m around them.
Continue reading Autism & Developing Authentic Relationships – My Autistic Experience

Two young men, one white and one black, bullying crying medium brown skinned woman, with long dark, curly hair

Autism, ADHD, and Bullying – My NeuroDivergent Autistic/ADHD (AutDHD) Experience

Some of the meanest, and cruelest, things that were done to me, as a young person, by other young people, were people tricking me into doing things, because I thought they were my friends, but really they were trying to trick me into doing things that would get me in trouble, or that would amuse them. When I was very young, I didn’t understand, yet, that people would sometimes act like you’re friends, to get you into trouble. Continue reading Autism, ADHD, and Bullying – My NeuroDivergent Autistic/ADHD (AutDHD) Experience

Autism & Vocalizations – My Autistic Experience with Echolalia, Palilalia, and Verbal Stimming

Though each and every single Autistic Person is different, many Autistic People make different noises, repeat sounds, or make other vocalizations.

There are three main types of Autistic vocalizations I’m going to be talking about in this week’s video: the first one is echolalia, the next one is Palilalia, and verbal stimming. Continue reading Autism & Vocalizations – My Autistic Experience with Echolalia, Palilalia, and Verbal Stimming

Things I Got in Trouble for Growing up as an Undiagnosed Autistic ADHDer

I didn’t find out I was Autistic until I was 29, and my ADHD wasn’t diagnosed until several years later, however, autism and ADHD are both lifelong neurodevelopmental differences.
This means I was Autistic and ADHD my entire life, growing up, as a child, and I will be Autistic ADHD, my brain will be the same, the day I die.
There were obvious manifestations of my brain difference as a child growing up, many of which were labeled as “behavioral problems” and dismissed, or I was constantly scolded for acting in a very Autistic ADHD way.
Continue reading Things I Got in Trouble for Growing up as an Undiagnosed Autistic ADHDer

The Challenges of being Autistic in a NonAutistic World

Learning I’m Autistic has helped with some things, and made them easier. I am studying facial expressions and body language, to learn what some of that stuff means. I’m learning it in a very unnatural way, and I hear some people picked up on that naturally in life, which is hard for me to fathom… but I’m learning it.
I’m capable of understanding these things, it’s just like learning a foreign language to me. Some things, however, haven’t gotten any easier, because some things might be more difficult for some of us.
Continue reading The Challenges of being Autistic in a NonAutistic World

I See Autistic & NeuroDivergent People Who Don’t KNOW their Minds Work Differently

There are people out there in the world today who do not know that they are NeuroDivergent, and may never know in their lifetimes. Not knowing that our brains work differently from that of a lot of other people on this planet, can have impacts on us, on our mental health, and our sense of self-worth; when we constantly compare ourselves to others around us, whose brains do not work as ours do. Continue reading I See Autistic & NeuroDivergent People Who Don’t KNOW their Minds Work Differently

Autistic & NeuroDivergent Academic Exclusion & Oppression

For Autistic People, many of us are excluded from the right to having a proper education, whether that is because we are put into these “special autism schools” that keep us out of general education, or we are excluded from education in other ways.

I spent time in general education, special education, and even gifted and talented educator. None of my needs were accommodated in these classes, they were not tailored to my individual learning needs, and the school system was very traumatizing for me. I feel lucky I survived it.

Continue reading Autistic & NeuroDivergent Academic Exclusion & Oppression

Shame Kills – Autism, NeuroDivergence, Pride, & Shame

Shame is defined as a painful emotion caused by consciousness of guilt, shortcoming, or perceived impropriety. That is one definition talking about how shame is experienced from the inside.

However, I want to talk more about having shame that is put on you from society and people around you; shame that is unjustified, that many NeuroDivergent, LGBTQIA, and other marginalized people may feel, and the impact that shame has on those of us who are in those groups.
Continue reading Shame Kills – Autism, NeuroDivergence, Pride, & Shame

Treating Autistic & NeuroDivergent People Equitably: PT 1 The Need for a NeuroDivergent Lifestyle

I want to talk to you a bit today about treatment for Autistic and NeuroDivergent people… and when I say “treatment”, I want to be very clear, I am not talking about medical treatment. I’m talking about kind, and fair, just treatment of NeuroDivergent People.

As I said, this is not medical treatment. This is how we need to be treated by society and those around us, and what we need in order to live successful, fulfilled, happy, and authentic NeuroDivergent lives. Continue reading Treating Autistic & NeuroDivergent People Equitably: PT 1 The Need for a NeuroDivergent Lifestyle

Queer, Trans, NeuroDivergent, Autistic: The Human Need for Authenticity

I knew, at the age of four or five, that I wasn’t a girl, but I couldn’t articulate what I knew, and the world told me I was a girl, and I had to get used to that somehow.

I also knew, around the same time, that I was not like other kids, but not knowing I was NeuroDivergent, also meant not having the language to describe that experience either, and falsely believing that I was an inferior, lazy, NeuroTypical child, and then, eventually, a inferior lazy NeuroTypical adult. I held myself to those NeuroTypical standards, even to my own detriment.

I forced myself to fit into their boxes, at the expense of my own mental and physical health.

I held myself to CIS heteronormative standards, often feeling like I was living a lie and pretending to be someone I wasn’t, for the comfort of other people.

I hit for safety, to blend in, and not make waves. I hid to avoid being the target of bullying and harassment, though bullies still managed to find me. That’s what happens when you grow up in a violent, hostile place, where you don’t feel you’re safe, and you are forced into the peripheries of society.

Being invisible was safer and preferable to standing out, so I did my best to be invisible, and it almost killed me.

Eventually, I got to a point where I couldn’t do it anymore. I came to a place where I could no longer maintain the complex social mask that had protected me for most of my life, and when it all fell apart, I found myself in a place of crisis and was diagnosed Autistic at 29. Continue reading Queer, Trans, NeuroDivergent, Autistic: The Human Need for Authenticity