I’ve said many times unapologetically that “the religious indoctrination of children is child abuse.”

Every time I say this, my comments end up filled with defensive people, who don’t seem to understand that indoctrination and teaching are two similar words, with very different meanings (or possibly because they themselves were indoctrinated, or have indoctrinated their own children and are upset that I’m telling them the’ve been through or have personally engaged in child abuse).

Please note: I am well aware the phrase “child abuse” is a loaded term, and that it doesn’t feel good to be told you “have been abusing children” (or have caused harm to others), especially if you didn’t mean to cause harm. With this in mind, if you feel anger rising up inside you as you read these words, I ask that you take pause, and sit with those uncomfortable feelings (and your own cognitive dissonance) before lashing out in the comments at me or the other NeuroDivergent Rebel Community members (because if you lash out in anger, without getting your emotions in check first, I will remove you form this space without further warning).

I don’t use this strong language to upset you; however, I also am not one to coddle people or dance around serious topics with flowery “feel-good” words (especially when talking about harm caused to children and other vulnerable populations).

Now that the disclaimers are out of the way, let’s begin with a few definitions (because many people are unfamiliar with the true meaning of indoctrination or its distinction from teaching).

Indoctrination is the process of teaching a person or group to accept a set of beliefs (often on faith alone) without critical examination. For example, teaching a child that they will go to hell if they don’t follow a particular set of religious rules, without allowing them to question or explore other beliefs, is a form of indoctrination.

Teaching, on the other hand, means to give information about (or instruction in) a subject or skill or to show or explain to someone how to do something.

There’s a significant difference between indoctrination and teaching.

Teaching cultivates understanding and critical thinking by encouraging the learner to ask questions and explore different perspectives.

Indoctrination, however, imposes a single, fixed ideology, demanding unquestioning acceptance and actively discouraging doubt or independent thought, and that, by definition, indoctrination is abusive.

Imposing rigid, unquestionable beliefs on children is a form of child abuse because it discourages their natural curiosity and critical thinking skills with fear-based control.

Being forced into an ideology can stunt people’s mental and emotional development, denying kids the fundamental right to explore ideas in a way that allows them to form their own understanding of the world around them.

Indoctrination exploits the vulnerability and trust of young people, trapping them in a mindset they didn’t choose and cannot easily question.

In the long run, individuals who are indoctrinated in childhood may develop a lack of tolerance for other people’s beliefs, struggle to form independent opinions, and experience a sense of guilt or fear associated with questioning the beliefs that were instilled in them during their formative years.

Why is this (indoctrination) considered abusive?

1. Denies Development: Children need to explore, question, and learn to think critically for healthy cognitive and emotional growth. Indoctrination actively suppresses this.
2. Exploits Vulnerability: Children are inherently trusting and dependent. Imposing absolute beliefs exploits this power imbalance.
3. Causes Psychological Harm: Enforcing rigid dogma often uses fear, shame, or isolation to punish doubt, causing lasting anxiety and impairing self-trust.
4. Violates Autonomy: It fundamentally disrespects the child’s future right and capacity to form their own beliefs and identity.

This harm doesn’t just come to children, but also to the people around those who grow up indoctrinated.

For example, there are a lot of adults in America today who have been indoctrinated into various Christian faiths, and now, as a result, lack tolerance for those of us who don’t share their beliefs (and believe they have a right to force their beliefs on the rest of us, repeating the cycle of abuse that was carried out on them as children, who were forced into a religion without being able to question it).

If you find yourself getting defensive right now, when I’m saying “it is abusive to indoctrinate children” (into religions and other ideologies), I ask you to re-read the definitions and descriptions above, and ask yourself if you really want to defend indoctrination (encouraging children not to question what they’re taught) or are you actually defending teaching (providing information and allowing children to question things and make their own decisions)?

I understand that conversations around child abuse (intentional or unintentional) and indoctrination around our own beliefs or practices can be challenging (and uncomfortable), but it is a necessary step towards promoting critical thinking and respect for individual autonomy.

I want to make it very clear that I have no objections to teaching young people about various religions (if we give them choices about the religions they learn about and aren’t taught that there is “only one true religion“). Unfortunately, too often, adults don’t teach the young people in their lives about various religions, opting for indoctrination into only one religion (with no choice to opt out) instead.

I speak from experience, of the harm religious indoctrination caused me, personally.

As a child, who was indoctrinated into the Christian faith, but struggled to believe what I was told “was the unquestionable truth,” I spent the first 11 years of my life terrified that I was going to hell (and was convinced that I was a bad person) because I couldn’t force myself to believe in Jesus and the Christian God (who I was told was the ONLY path to salvation and everyone who wasn’t a believer would go to hell).

This belief, that I was doomed to hell for my disbelief in Christianity and the bible, became a core wound (one of multiple that led to the fracture in my ability to see myself as a good person) because I believed the lies I was told in church that “we cannot truly be good without God.“

Who puts such a thing on a child? The idea that “if you don’t believe what I’m telling you without question, you will go to a place of eternal torture”?