Tag: mental health

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The Autistic Burnout and Facing Backlash When We Step Back from The Traditional Workplace

Lyric Holmans

Ten years ago, when I was newly diagnosed as Autistic, I was both mentally and physically unwell.

I had burned out (or had been burned out) by an exploitative employer who treated me and my needs as a problem.

According to my employer at the time, my needs were “unreasonable” because they were things “everyone in the company would like, and it wouldn’t be fair to show me special treatment.”

I wanted to respond that “If everyone wants what I am asking for, then maybe your whole system sucks” (but, being newly identified, I hadn’t found the confidence to do so yet)… so I kept my frustration to myself and quietly started looking for a new job. Continue reading The Autistic Burnout and Facing Backlash When We Step Back from The Traditional Workplace

Children & Families, Coworkers, Dyspraxia, Masking / Passing, Relationships / Bullies / Friendships, Substack
Image of a jail cell with two bunkbeds inside.

If School Felt Like a Prison, You Might Be Neurodivergent – The Hidden Curriculum That Punishes Neurodivergent Kids

Lyric Holmans

Growing up, school was one of the worst experiences of my life, for many reasons.
Unfortunately, though some Neurodivergent young people love and enjoy their school years, for many of us who are Neurodivergent, school can be very difficult because it is often the first system we’re pushed into that is not designed in a way that supports our needs (pressuring us to conform to neuro-normative ideals and norms that may be out of reach for us, especially if we don’t have our basic needs met).

That’s why struggling in school, for many of us, can be one of the first signs that we might be Neurodivergent. Continue reading If School Felt Like a Prison, You Might Be Neurodivergent – The Hidden Curriculum That Punishes Neurodivergent Kids

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A white mask on a white background. A pale hand with red fingernails makes its way up to the mask, placing the pointer finger over the mask’s lips, as if to say “shhh”.

Fawning + Autistic Masking: When Autistic Masking Becomes Fawning and Why We Hide Ourselves Despite the Cost

Lyric Holmans

Autistic masking (also known as camouflaging) is when an Autistic person consciously or subconsciously masks their Autistic traits to blend in with non-autistic people. When we do this, it is not to be manipulative or deceptive. It is a survival skill and can also be tied to trauma responses (such as fawning). More on fawning in a moment. Continue reading Fawning + Autistic Masking: When Autistic Masking Becomes Fawning and Why We Hide Ourselves Despite the Cost

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A black and white photo of two disabled children in strait jackets, chained to a radiator in a room with dirty walls and floors.

Autism, ADHD, and Autonomy – The One Thing Neurodivergent and Disabled People Need Most (That Keeps Getting Taken Away)

Lyric Holmans

Autonomy isn’t about doing everything alone. It’s about choosing who sits beside us. For NeuroDivergent and disabled people, that choice is often taken away, sometimes with the best intentions. Here’s what happens when we aren’t allowed to steer our own lives. Continue reading Autism, ADHD, and Autonomy – The One Thing Neurodivergent and Disabled People Need Most (That Keeps Getting Taken Away)

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Photo of Lyric from several years ago, when they had short green hair, posing in front of a vibrant rainbow wing mural outdoors. They’re wearing purple ankle boots, dark blue jeans, a grey tank-top with the word ‘Autistic’ on it in a rainbow font, and a black leather jacket, while standing in a power pose.

Autistic Burnout – The ‘Mystery Illness’ That Doctors Missed for 30 Years (And Why a Vacation Won’t Fix It)

Lyric Holmans

Autistic burnout is a topic that I know intimately, for multiple reasons.

As an Autistic person who was not identified as such for most of my life, due to not knowing about my Autistic mind and the accompanying needs associated with my Autistic brain and nervous system, I spent most of my life cycling in and out of Autistic burnout.

It was also Autistic burnout that, eventually, led to me finally being diagnosed as Autistic a few months before my 30th birthday.

Being burned out was, for many years, my normal. Continue reading Autistic Burnout – The ‘Mystery Illness’ That Doctors Missed for 30 Years (And Why a Vacation Won’t Fix It)

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A young Lyric, with their dog Ripley, looking very miserable in their Easter dress.

You Weren’t the Problem. The System Was. Here’s How I Know.

Lyric Holmans

For most of my life, I believed, falsely, that I was inherently flawed and unworthy of compassion, kindness, and respect (from other people and from myself).

It’s hard to say exactly when, where, and why this feeling of inadequacy started, because my memory is a bit wonky, and multiple events played into it. However, there are a few events in particular that do stand out to me. Continue reading You Weren’t the Problem. The System Was. Here’s How I Know.

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Lyric Rivera - NeuroDivergent Rebel - refusing assimilation into neurotypical society

The Rage That Saved Me & The Pain Before the Pride: What Success Looks Like When You’re Late-Diagnosed – A Late Identified AuDHD (Autistic and ADHD) Story

Lyric Holmans

There is a lot of talk in Neurodivergent spaces about how much relief late-identified Neurodivergent people find when they finally learn the truth about themselves. However, there’s not as much discussion on the pain and grief late identification can bring.

Don’t get me wrong, being diagnosed Autistic (and then later ADHD) did bring me relief and was a critical turning point in my life. Yet, early on, as I learned to sit with that new information, joy and relief were not my only (or even primary) emotions.

People who join me in this chapter of my life, when I am confident, happy, and proud of my multiply-Neurodivergent identity, might falsely think I’ve always been this way, or that getting here was easy. However, they’re missing out on the first thirty-eight chapters of my life’s story, and nothing could be further from the truth.
Continue reading The Rage That Saved Me & The Pain Before the Pride: What Success Looks Like When You’re Late-Diagnosed – A Late Identified AuDHD (Autistic and ADHD) Story

Children & Families, Substack1 Comment
Lyric (with long dark hair and shaved sides, with rainbow glasses), sitting in the corner surrounded by books they’ve written or collaborated on (The U.S. Autism, Identity, and Me Children’s Workbook and Parent/Helper Guide, and Workplace Neurodiversity Rising, while reading Neurodivergent Rebel’s The Weight of Normal).

I Was A Word Hoarder: For me, hyperlexia wasn’t just “reading early.” It was (and is) a specific way my brain processes symbols.

Lyric Holmans

If you’ve never heard of Hyperlexia before, it is when a person can read words very, very well (often better than most people). We may also struggle more with understanding the full context of what we read. In addition, many of us who are Hyperlexic often understand what we read more easily than what is said to us out loud. Continue reading I Was A Word Hoarder: For me, hyperlexia wasn’t just “reading early.” It was (and is) a specific way my brain processes symbols.

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Lyric, years ago, with long black hair and pale skin from staying indoors, dressed as in a red hood and red and silver mask.

Growing Up Not Knowing About My Neurodivergent (Autistic and ADHD) Brain and What I Wish I Had Understood Sooner

Lyric Holmans

Question for my late-identified Neurodivergent readers: Is there anything you wish you’d known or understood sooner?

If you could give one piece of advice to your younger, unidentified self, what would it be?

I am Neurodivergent, but I didn’t know it (or even what Neurodivergence or Neurodiversity was) for most of my life.

Being diagnosed Autistic, at the age of 29, a few months shy of my 30th birthday, during a mental health crisis, turned my world upside down. It also saved my life. Continue reading Growing Up Not Knowing About My Neurodivergent (Autistic and ADHD) Brain and What I Wish I Had Understood Sooner