Tag: trauma healing

Children & Families, Coworkers, Dyspraxia, Masking / Passing, Relationships / Bullies / Friendships, Substack
Image of a jail cell with two bunkbeds inside.

If School Felt Like a Prison, You Might Be Neurodivergent – The Hidden Curriculum That Punishes Neurodivergent Kids

Lyric Holmans

Growing up, school was one of the worst experiences of my life, for many reasons.
Unfortunately, though some Neurodivergent young people love and enjoy their school years, for many of us who are Neurodivergent, school can be very difficult because it is often the first system we’re pushed into that is not designed in a way that supports our needs (pressuring us to conform to neuro-normative ideals and norms that may be out of reach for us, especially if we don’t have our basic needs met).

That’s why struggling in school, for many of us, can be one of the first signs that we might be Neurodivergent. Continue reading If School Felt Like a Prison, You Might Be Neurodivergent – The Hidden Curriculum That Punishes Neurodivergent Kids

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A young Lyric, with their dog Ripley, looking very miserable in their Easter dress.

You Weren’t the Problem. The System Was. Here’s How I Know.

Lyric Holmans

For most of my life, I believed, falsely, that I was inherently flawed and unworthy of compassion, kindness, and respect (from other people and from myself).

It’s hard to say exactly when, where, and why this feeling of inadequacy started, because my memory is a bit wonky, and multiple events played into it. However, there are a few events in particular that do stand out to me. Continue reading You Weren’t the Problem. The System Was. Here’s How I Know.

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Lyric Rivera - NeuroDivergent Rebel - refusing assimilation into neurotypical society

The Rage That Saved Me & The Pain Before the Pride: What Success Looks Like When You’re Late-Diagnosed – A Late Identified AuDHD (Autistic and ADHD) Story

Lyric Holmans

There is a lot of talk in Neurodivergent spaces about how much relief late-identified Neurodivergent people find when they finally learn the truth about themselves. However, there’s not as much discussion on the pain and grief late identification can bring.

Don’t get me wrong, being diagnosed Autistic (and then later ADHD) did bring me relief and was a critical turning point in my life. Yet, early on, as I learned to sit with that new information, joy and relief were not my only (or even primary) emotions.

People who join me in this chapter of my life, when I am confident, happy, and proud of my multiply-Neurodivergent identity, might falsely think I’ve always been this way, or that getting here was easy. However, they’re missing out on the first thirty-eight chapters of my life’s story, and nothing could be further from the truth.
Continue reading The Rage That Saved Me & The Pain Before the Pride: What Success Looks Like When You’re Late-Diagnosed – A Late Identified AuDHD (Autistic and ADHD) Story

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Lyric, years ago, with long black hair and pale skin from staying indoors, dressed as in a red hood and red and silver mask.

Growing Up Not Knowing About My Neurodivergent (Autistic and ADHD) Brain and What I Wish I Had Understood Sooner

Lyric Holmans

Question for my late-identified Neurodivergent readers: Is there anything you wish you’d known or understood sooner?

If you could give one piece of advice to your younger, unidentified self, what would it be?

I am Neurodivergent, but I didn’t know it (or even what Neurodivergence or Neurodiversity was) for most of my life.

Being diagnosed Autistic, at the age of 29, a few months shy of my 30th birthday, during a mental health crisis, turned my world upside down. It also saved my life. Continue reading Growing Up Not Knowing About My Neurodivergent (Autistic and ADHD) Brain and What I Wish I Had Understood Sooner

Children & Families, Family, Masking / PassingLeave a comment
Young Lyric, with long black hair and a blank expression, was wearing a paper hat they had made, with a stuffed bulldog beside them as they stood in front of a bookshelf in their grandparent’s home.

Reaching My Breaking Point – I Used to Think My Detachment Was a Superpower. It Was Actually a Survival Skill.

Lyric Holmans

For much of my life, I felt like a passenger in my own body, but a few years ago, after reaching my breaking point when my grandfather and then our oldest dog Rocky both passed away within a few short weeks of one another, something inside me started to change rapidly.

Before that point, I’d been managing. Yet, this moment, holding my grandfather’s hand as they pulled the plug, and then doing the same with Rocky, as his kidneys failed soon after (when we decided the kindest thing we could do for him was to let him go), ended up becoming a tipping point (one that sent all of my carefully balanced dominoes tumbling down). Continue reading Reaching My Breaking Point – I Used to Think My Detachment Was a Superpower. It Was Actually a Survival Skill.

Masking / Passing, Relationships / Bullies / Friendships, Updates
Lyric, last year, deep in depression, with green hair and a black leather jacket.

Invisible & Drowning: My Negativity Was a Cry for Help – Toxic Positivity Kills: My Year of Being Told to Smile While Drowning

Lyric Holmans

When Your Rock Bottom Goes Unseen – Why Expressing Pain and Discomfort is a Disruption to the Status Quo and What Happens When You Can’t Fake Being Fine
Continue reading Invisible & Drowning: My Negativity Was a Cry for Help – Toxic Positivity Kills: My Year of Being Told to Smile While Drowning

Children & Families, Substack
Young Lyric, who believed they were doomed to hell, dressed as a black cat.

Religious Indoctrination of Children Is Child Abuse: Here’s Why I Won’t Apologize for Calling Religious Indoctrination Child Abuse.

Lyric Holmans

As a child, who was indoctrinated into the Christian faith, but struggled to believe what I was told “was the unquestionable truth,” I spent the first 11 years of my life terrified that I was going to hell (and was convinced that I was a bad person) because I couldn’t force myself to believe in Jesus and the Christian God (who I was told was the ONLY path to salvation and everyone who wasn’t a believer would go to hell). Continue reading Religious Indoctrination of Children Is Child Abuse: Here’s Why I Won’t Apologize for Calling Religious Indoctrination Child Abuse.

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A selfie Lyric took recently. They’re in a black and white outfit and sitting in their RV, with their long hair down and smiling.

Society Trained Me to Swallow My Rage. My Autistic Self Said “No More.” – “Repression = Strength” Was a Dangerous Lie I Believed (Until My Diagnosis).

Lyric Holmans

The Forbidden Feeling: Why My Anger Terrified Me (And How I Made Peace With It) – The Cost of Swallowing Coals: How I Stopped Digesting Anger & Started Living.
Continue reading Society Trained Me to Swallow My Rage. My Autistic Self Said “No More.” – “Repression = Strength” Was a Dangerous Lie I Believed (Until My Diagnosis).