PSA: The creator of this page is NeuroDivergent, Queer, AND Polyamorous
Recently it has been brought to my attention that a LOT of people, even following this Blog, don’t have a good understanding of Polyamory or the issues facing Polyamorous People, so I’m going to be talking about Polyamory a LOT MORE MOVING FORWARD.
If this offends YOU and have a problem with Polyamorous People (or have a problem with holding bigoted views against any minority group) you can leave OR keep your harmful and bigoted views to yourself.
Though discussions and education is always welcome, bigotry and hatred toward any group will NOT be tolerated here.
Here we go…
People saying polyamory is a choice, this has NOT been my experience as a Polyamorous person. It is literally who I fall in love with and am attracted to, which are not choices.
I am a Polyamorous person and I disagree with this idea and will share my reasons:
Would you say being gay is a choice?
If someone is not in a relationship with anyone, but they like people of the same gender are they not gay if they are not in a relationship at that time?
I am still a Polyamorous person, even if I am in a relationship with only one person …. it doesn’t change, and I suddenly stop being someone who’s capable of loving and having relationships with multiple people.
Polyamorous relationships and polyamorous people are two different things.
Just like being in a Queer relationship and being a Queer Person or two different things.
We don’t call being Queer or being in a Queer relationship a choice.
Why would be called being in a Polyamorous relationship a choice?
A Polyamorous person “is someone who can date, commit to, and/or love more than one person.”
Polyamory/Polyamorous Relationships “involves being in multiple relationships with multiple people and building connections, feelings, and commitments with more than one person.”
As Polyamorous humans, we are capable of having deep love for more than one partner at a time.
With Polyamorous relationships, just like with every relationship, each relationship is unique, because they tend to all have different dynamics and naturally just be at different stages and maturity levels. That will also depend on the needs of the individuals in the relationship.
Different partners tend to support each other in various ways. This can actually be a really great way for NeuroDivergent People, or any human, to grow a better support network, so you’re not always leaning on only one person to support you all the time.
I have known that my affections work this way since I was in middle school. I also believe that being Autistic has led me to where this part of my identity on my sleeve, like the rest of my sexual orientation, without shame, despite the possibility of this being potentially the most taboo part of my identity (it shouldn’t be).
It’s not just an excuse to go wild and run around with no consequences and escape commitment, and not answer to anyone. It’s not a free pass for bad behavior, like some people might want to believe, and those attitudes aren’t helpful. They’re very hurtful, because they stigmatize polyamorous people.
I’m not ashamed, but in my state and my country Polyamory is a crime, and we cannot legally marry more than one partner.
Polyamorous People do not have the legal protections that marriage would grant a couple.
Polyamorous people often cannot get on their partner’s insurance.
Polyamorous people have had children taken away for being polyamorous.
If one partner goes to the hospital, and they have multiple partners they are not married to, they may not be able to see the other partners on their deathbed.
Being Polyamorous might even get you laid off from a job, because we may be deemed as having immoral behavior.
Polyamorous people’s relationships are not legal and can even be punished criminally.
Just like being Queer, Autistic NeuroDivergent, etc., we have to humanize the issues, and show that Polyamorous people are just people. Humans just trying to live our lives.
Help me get the word out!!! – If you like what I do, and would like more, please consider subscribing on Patreon. This blog is made possible by support from readers like YOU! (Sharing my content is also, equally helpful!)
With gratitude, – Lyric