Holidays are another social construct that seems nonsensical to me (as many things do).
I’ve always struggled to see the point in conforming to and obeying social constructs (gender, clothing, time, capitalism, money), and holidays are no different for me (in that I struggle to see the point of them).
Why do we only see our families and loved ones on pre-determined “special” occasions a few times yearly?
Why do we have to buy each other gifts in a similar fashion (birthdays and holidays instead of whenever we feel like it)?
Why do we pressure people to buy each other gifts even if they can’t afford them?
Maybe it’s the Autism and my aversion to a disruption in my routine.
There is an increased social pressure that comes around every holiday. Since learning I’m Autistic, I’ve pushed back, opting out and avoiding holidays whenever possible.
My aversion to holidays, while empowering for me, can come across to loved ones as an aversion to them.
While I strongly dislike Christmas, some family members care about it, for example. Also, while I would prefer to visit with someone one-on-one in a quiet setting, some of my family members enjoy things I find overwhelming (like having many people gathered in one space).
I say no to some things (for myself), but there are things I may say yes to occasionally (for other people).
Holidays are one of those things – if I have the energy for them, you might see me, but if not, I won’t feel guilty about skipping out without explanation.
I do have exceptions to my dislike for holidays and traditions:
Birthdays, one day each year, to celebrate each person.
I celebrate my birthday like my own version of New Year’s, using it as a time to set my intentions for the next year of my life.
I struggle to remember other people’s birthdays, but (if I remember them) I love using birthdays as a day to make someone I love feel special. I don’t feel this should be limited to one day – I try to make my loved ones feel special year-round.
Halloween (my favorite holiday because I’m a witchy person who loves costumes and all things dark, scary, and creepy).
Something about costumes, cosplay, and becoming a character was very welcoming to my young, undiscovered, NeuroDivergent mind.
As I grew older, I was still attracted to activities that lent themselves to playing out characters and wearing costumes (theatre groups, renaissance fares, role-playing games, and cosplay). Halloween was the one holiday that played into this passion. It was mine, and I loved it.
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