Holidays are another social construct that seems nonsensical to me (as many things do).
I’ve always struggled to see the point in conforming to and obeying social constructs (gender, clothing, time, capitalism, money), and holidays are no different for me (in that I struggle to see the point of them).
Why do we only see our families and loved ones on pre-determined “special” occasions a few times yearly?
Why do we have to buy each other gifts in a similar fashion (birthdays and holidays instead of whenever we feel like it)?
Why do we pressure people to buy each other gifts even if they can’t afford them?
Maybe it’s the Autism and my aversion to a disruption in my routine.
There is an increased social pressure that comes around every holiday. Since learning I’m Autistic, I’ve pushed back, opting out and avoiding holidays whenever possible.
My aversion to holidays, while empowering for me, can come across to loved ones as an aversion to them.
While I strongly dislike Christmas, some family members care about it, for example. Also, while I would prefer to visit with someone one-on-one in a quiet setting, some of my family members enjoy things I find overwhelming (like having many people gathered in one space).
I say no to some things (for myself), but there are things I may say yes to occasionally (for other people).
Holidays are one of those things – if I have the energy for them, you might see me, but if not, I won’t feel guilty about skipping out without explanation.
I do have exceptions to my dislike for holidays and traditions:
Birthdays, one day each year, to celebrate each person.
I celebrate my birthday like my own version of New Year’s, using it as a time to set my intentions for the next year of my life.
I struggle to remember other people’s birthdays, but (if I remember them) I love using birthdays as a day to make someone I love feel special. I don’t feel this should be limited to one day – I try to make my loved ones feel special year-round.
Halloween (my favorite holiday because I’m a witchy person who loves costumes and all things dark, scary, and creepy).
Something about costumes, cosplay, and becoming a character was very welcoming to my young, undiscovered, NeuroDivergent mind.
As I grew older, I was still attracted to activities that lent themselves to playing out characters and wearing costumes (theatre groups, renaissance fares, role-playing games, and cosplay). Halloween was the one holiday that played into this passion. It was mine, and I loved it.
The full post is available for my paid subscribers on Patreon, Substack, and Facebook (in the top secret subscriber FB group).
To receive new posts (like this one) delivered directly to your inbox 2-3 times each week (and support my work), please consider becoming a subscriber.
I’m creating a new community on Substack, and I hope you’ll join me as a free member (but I also have paid subscriptions that are only $5/month – less if you subscribe annually if you want access to bonus content).
FREE subscribers on Substack get content, too! Everyone gets something (because I believe education should be accessible).
*Patreon members and Facebook Subscribers ALSO got access to THIS post.
In addition to Substack (because I STRONGLY believe educational resources should be affordable), I also offer discounted subscriptions on Patreon. On Patreon, I always offer a pay-what-you-can subscription (starting at $1 a month – less when you subscribe annually).
The NeuroDivergent Rebel Blog is a reader-supported publication. Without the help of my readers, free resources LIKE THIS ONE wouldn’t be possible.
If you’re low on funds, you can also help support my work by sharing this post.
It would mean a lot to me,