ID: Lyric, a pale-skinned nonbinary person with black hair with dark green ends and shaved sides is sitting in the corner of an RV with tan Accordion window shades on either side of them. They wear grey T-shirts and black leather jackets with their hair pulled back.
Based on a Substack post (originally published on February 7, 2024)
Substack, Patreon, and YouTube paid subscribers all had access to this video on Wednesday, March 27, 2024. The video’s public release will be on Tuesday, April 2, 2024, for World Autism Day.
I will be releasing two videos this April. If you have suggestions or requests for the second video of the month, please feel free to post them in the comments.
Transcript
Lyric Rivera: Hi, I’m Lyric Rivera -pronouns they, them. I am an Autistic adult, and I am also the best-selling author of the business ethics book, Workplace Neurodiversity Rising.
Insert screenshot of book… here.
Thank you so much for joining me today.
I didn’t find out I was Autistic until I was almost 30 years old, because there are a lot of misconceptions, and misunderstandings about Autistic people out there.
Which is why today’s video, in preparation of April rolling around, probably around the time this video is released, I’m going to do a video, talking about 10 things people get wrong about Autism and Autistic people.
If you would like to know more, please do stay tuned.
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Lyric Rivera:
Myth number one:
Autism is caused by bad parenting, toxins, diets, vaccines, or screen time.
In reality, Autism is caused by none of these things.
Autism is a lifelong neurodevelopmental processing difference, which means we are born Autistic, we live our lives Autistic, and then, eventually, we die still being Autistic. It’s also not caused by external factors or lifestyle choices.
Research has shown that Autism is largely genetic, with brain structure and functioning differences that are present in early development.
The myth that Autism is caused by vaccines is due to a redacted and discredited study that has been debunked numerous times.
Myth number two: Autistic people are all introverts, who hate socializing.
The myth that all Autistic people are introverts, who hate socializing, is a harmful and inaccurate stereotype.
Autistic people are just as diverse as non-Autistic people in this respect.
Well, I do fit the stereotype more than most, as an Autistic person who prefers quiet, more solitary environments, most of the time, even I crave social interaction and enjoy being around other safe people from time to time.
I prefer to socialize in smaller, more intimate settings, like one-to-one, or in groups of four or less. Anything else becomes overwhelming to me. Even the most introverted Autistic people may yearn for social connections.
Many Autistic people desire time around other humans and some Autistic people even consider themselves to be extroverts.
If you are an Autistic extrovert, drop a comment and share, so we can bust this stereotype, because I’m not the Autistic extrovert for sure. I. I fit the stereotype, but I know you’re out there, because I’ve spoken to you.
Myth number three: the Autistic brain type is rare.
According to the most recent report from the CDC. One in 36, children has been identified as being Autistic. Additionally, the CDC data we use to determine Autism prevalence, has historically focused on children. Meaning late identified Autistic people, and adults, are not even considered. In this data.
This also doesn’t account for families who won’t allow Autism screenings, due to cultural differences, and underprivileged kids, who may have less access to medical care, who are often left out of screenings.
Less marginalized, Autistics, especially those who are CIS, straight, white, male, and financially privileged, who have better access to healthcare, and are more likely to be taken serious by their medical providers, are more likely to be seen, and diagnosed as, Autistic. While those of us who are less privileged, will often have our Autism seen, and labeled as, other things.
Mine was labeled bad behavior, when I was growing up.
If we come from families who don’t have as many resources, we are more likely to slip through the cracks, being diagnosed in adulthood, if we are even diagnosed at all. Because of this, and a few other factors, I personally suspect the number is a bit higher than one in 36.
What do you think the real number for Autism prevalence is?
Myth number four: Autism is only found, and diagnosed in, young boys or children.
Truth: I am a non-binary, Autistic adult, who is diagnosed Autistic at the age of 29.
Though our diagnostic criteria, and many medical providers, have a bias towards young boys, and Autism used to be considered a little boy’s condition by many, we now know Autistic people can come from all genders, races, orientations, and backgrounds.
Myth number five. Autistic people don’t experience feelings or empathy for others.
Truth: empathy is a spectrum and Autistic people can be found all along that spectrum, just like non-Autistic people can be.
Some Autistic people have overwhelming hyper empathy and overwhelming and intense emotional experiences. In contrast some Autistic people have much lower empathy at lower emotional experiences- and there’s nothing wrong with that.
Sometimes I have so much empathy, it physically hurts or makes me sick. This is one reason I can not look at movies or TV, where people are being injured, hurt, or having medical procedures done to them, even though it’s acting, because I feel their pain as if it were my own.
We may experience our empathy differently, but that doesn’t mean our empathy is less valid or less meaningful than the empathy and the other person experiences.
When I feel too much, I can shut down, which makes it look like I am cold and uncaring. In reality, I care so much that I can become bogged down by all the overwhelming emotions and feelings welling up in me, all at once.
It can be hard to empathize with experiences you don’t have and needs, you don’t understand, regardless of your NeuroType, or brain type. This is where Damien Milton’s Double Empathy Problem, and the confusion between cross-NeuroType communication comes in.
Let me know in the comments, if you would like for me to do another video about the double empathy problem, and Autistic empathy.
I feel lots of empathy, often for people who fail to give me the same compassion and grace, I give them.
I’m reasonably good at understanding other Autistic people, and the way they will perceive my actions. However, I do struggle to predict how non-Autistic people will perceive and interpret me.
Non-autistic people are just as bad, if not worse, at understanding and interpreting Autistic people… with one exception:
Autistic people are often expected to understand, and interpret non-Autistic language and ways of communication, and even mimic it.
And at the same time, non-Autistic people don’t have the same pressure to learn, to understand how Autistic people communicate.
Number six.
Autistic people are clumsy and uncoordinated.
I am, but it doesn’t mean all Autistic people are.
Autistic people often have spiky skills and abilities profiles. We’re also known for having communication, sensory, and motor control differences, where we can be hyper or hypo sensitive, in our various sensory, and motor functioning areas.
While some Autistic people are clumsy, many Autistic people are athletic, and coordinated.
Because Autistic people often experience our senses, and our emotions, and our world, and a lot of things in extremes, we often will have reduced or enhanced movement planning and coordination.
Examples of enhancement in this area. It could be clay Marzo, the surfer or Armani Williams, the Autistic NASCAR driver.
If we fall on the extreme end of enhanced motor control, we may find ourselves in line with top athletes, such as those mentioned previously and many more.
In contrast, if we have reduced motor control and function, we may struggle, needing help with day-to-day tasks that other people take for granted, such as opening packages, feeding ourselves, tying our shoes, putting on clothing, or makeup, walking, or driving.
It’s not to say that we can’t learn to do these things, although some of us may always struggle, but that it will take us much longer to develop these skills. While other people seem to learn them much more naturally.
For example, I am quite clumsy on my feet. I fall and trip over things a lot, but when I’m roller skating, because I have put in many, many, many hours of practice into learning little micro movements, and muscle memory, programming these things into my brain, through repetition, I can do those movements. Also similarly, if I get distracted, while I’m roller skating and forget, I’m on my skate, I might fall on my ass.
It’s it’s a complicated relationship: looking graceful on roller skates, and walking into walls in my shoes.
Myth number seven: Autistic people can’t understand sarcasm or humor.
There’s a rumor that Autistic people do not use, and cannot understand, sarcasm or humor.
However, most Autistic people I know have a great sense of humor. I also know many sarcastic Autistic people, and what about all the Autistic standup comedians out there?
While some Autistic people may struggle with sarcasm, and some types of humor, because of all of the little invisible, subtle nonverbal cues that are often involved in humor and sarcasm, still some Autistic people speak fluent sarcasm.
This is just one more way Autism is a spectrum with varied experiences.
My personal struggle with sarcasm comes from the fact that I am a very straightforward, upfront, and literal type of thinker, which impacts how I communicate outwardly, as well as how I interpret communication, that’s coming in.
Something else, that impacts whether or not I am likely to pick up on somebody using sarcasm, or other forms of humorous speech, is how well I know the person, or not.
If I have an opportunity to get to know a person, and their patterns and habits, all kinds of social situations can be made easier between us, because that person becomes more predictable to me.
When I know someone is a very sarcastic, or humorous, and playful human being, I learn to expect that from that person. Which makes it more likely I’m going to pick up on the humor and the sarcasm.
Another instance, in which I really struggle with sarcasm, is when people use sarcasm in written text and they don’t use emojis or other marks to notate their sarcastic tone.
If you’re being sarcastic with me and writing, please use some sort of like Winky LOL face or something.
Please? Please???
Otherwise, I’m going to miss it. It’s going to go right over my head.
Now, let’s talk about the other part of this myth, the humor part.
Autistic people are funny, even if non-autistic people don’t get our jokes. For example, I briefly mentioned we have Autistic standup comedians, Hannah Gatsby is one that comes to mind quickly, that make audiences of all NeuroTypes, and brain types, laugh- Autistic or not.
Just because we have different senses of humor, and find different things funny, doesn’t mean one type of humor is better than the other.
It just means we have different lived experiences, that influence the way we express, and interpret, humor. This can be true of people regardless of their brain type, whether they are Autistic or non-autistic.
Myth number eight: Autistic people cannot live fulfilling lives.
Just like everyone else, Autistic people have strengths, passions, hobbies, and interests, that can help us make meaningful connections with, and contributions to society. If we are provided correct supports, and are affirmed and accepted, we can thrive in various aspects of our lives.
Education: learning topics we are passionate about.
Hobbies and interests: engaging in activities that bring us joy.
Relationships: building deep, meaningful connections with family, friends, and loved ones.
Community involvement: being part of a community, giving back, doing volunteer work, advocacy, or other activities.
Careers finding employment that we find fulfilling and enjoyable, that leverages our interests and our strengths.
Additionally, the success of Autistic people and other people may look different from the success of non-Autistics and neuro-typical people.
It’s crucial to recognize that there are Autistic, and other NeuroDivergent people, who will require additional support and care, to be able to thrive in life.
Individual needs, co-occurring conditions, and life events, can impact the level of individualized support needed.
Needing additional support doesn’t mean an Autistic person cannot live a fulfilling life.
By acknowledging and respecting individual differences and needs, we can create a more inclusive and supportive environment, that allows Autistic people to thrive and live our best lives, not the lives, people around us think we should be living.
Myth number nine.
Autistic people can’t understand, or feel, emotions.
The truth is, just like any human, Autistic people can experience a range of emotions. Something many people experience, and sometimes struggle with, is having a more intense experience of our emotions and the world around us. A world that can be unforgiving, and hostile, for sensitive souls, who feel things deeply.
My sensory experience is more intense than most people I know. Things most people find to be minor annoyances, if noticeable at all, like fluorescent lighting, can be physically painful to me, and can make me sick, triggering migraines, vertigo, seizures, and other health problems.
In addition to more intense sensory experience, I experience my emotions intensely, and experience big feelings frequently.
When, I didn’t know I was Autistic, I didn’t understand why I had these big feelings, and so I felt a great deal of shame over them, and my struggles to contain all of my feelings.
Knowing I’m Autistic has helped me to understand where, and why, these big feelings occur, and also how to cope, and deal with these big feelings when they happen.
My Autistic brain, combined with how the world can be very uncomfortable for me, and how many times I’ve been encouraged to ignore my own feelings and discomfort, means, as an adult, I struggled to know how I’m feeling moment to moment. Sometimes I may experience an emotion and I may not know what that emotion is right away.
I may not figure that emotion out until minutes, hours, weeks, even months or years later when I process it, because I often process things, including my feelings, on a delay, especially if those emotions are overwhelming and they cause me to shut down.
The alternative from feeling those big feelings, and drowning in them, is disconnecting from them, and shutting down. Something I do automatically when the emotions are too much, or I feel unsafe. These shutdowns can make me appear emotionless, when in reality, I’ve experienced so much emotions, that I’ve become overwhelmed and disassociated from those feelings.
I may appear fine, in the moment, seeming blank, cold, detached, and emotionless. However I would likely crash, and collapse, in a gooey pile of emotions, only to fall apart days, weeks, or months later, when I finally processed those feelings, or I may fall apart instantly, later that day or that week, over something else entirely, that seems really small to everyone else around me.
My emotional reactions often seem as if they are “too much” or “too little” for the given situation. I’m not trying to be complicated, or difficult. I’m attempting to express myself authentically, but I need time, space, and compassion, from those around me, otherwise, I have to keep removing myself, and shutting down when big feelings arise, instead of speaking up, and getting the help I need.
Myth number 10: Autism needs a cure.
The idea of a cure, implies that there is something inherently wrong, or broken, in us, that needs fixing, an implication that places a negative stigma on Autistic people.
Autism is not a disease, or a disorder, that needs to be cured.
It is a neurological difference, that affects how each individual Autistic person engages with, perceives, and processes, the information in the world around them.
As Autistic people, we have our own strengths, challenges, and experiences. Just because our minds work differently, it doesn’t mean that there is inherently something wrong with us, or that we are broken.
Instead of focusing on a cure, or making Autistic people more like non-autistic people, it’s vital to promote acceptance and understanding of Autistic people, as well as providing us with the support and accommodations we need, in order to reach our full potential in the world.
It also means challenging the neuro-normative standards of society, and the ableism that harms Autistic people, working to create a culture and a society that values, accepts, and appreciates us.
By shifting our focus from awareness, and cures, to acceptance and appreciation, we can create a more inclusive, and accepting world, for all of us.
Thank you so much for watching. I will see you next time.
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It would mean a lot to me,
– Lyric Lark Rivera | NeuroDivergent Rebel
