Tag: autistic pride

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A pink background with a green/yellow melon in the middle. The melon is being provocatively touched by a beige hand with red nails.

Sex, Stimming, and Safety – Libido, Lube, and Latex: An Autistic Guide to Intimacy, Desire, Sensory Needs, and Consent

Lyric Holmans

Something you may or may not know about me is that I used to work at an adult retail store, and it was one of my favorite jobs.

My specialty was helping people find the tools they needed to pleasure themselves and one another (toys, lube, items for safe sex, and media for visual and mental stimulation)… okay, it was a porn store. Still, my focus and specialty was helping people in the adult toy section.

I loved helping people with their intimate needs, finding tools, toys, and solutions that worked for them based on their interests and desires, and, in some cases, offering a little coaching on how they could reach their first “Big-O“ (if that was something they wanted to do).

In those days, sex was one of my main special interests, and even though it’s been a few years, I still am very passionate about sex.

So… Let’s talk about sex, BABY! Continue reading Sex, Stimming, and Safety – Libido, Lube, and Latex: An Autistic Guide to Intimacy, Desire, Sensory Needs, and Consent

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a person collapsed over on a desk with a book over their head

The Autistic Burnout and Facing Backlash When We Step Back from The Traditional Workplace

Lyric Holmans

Ten years ago, when I was newly diagnosed as Autistic, I was both mentally and physically unwell.

I had burned out (or had been burned out) by an exploitative employer who treated me and my needs as a problem.

According to my employer at the time, my needs were “unreasonable” because they were things “everyone in the company would like, and it wouldn’t be fair to show me special treatment.”

I wanted to respond that “If everyone wants what I am asking for, then maybe your whole system sucks” (but, being newly identified, I hadn’t found the confidence to do so yet)… so I kept my frustration to myself and quietly started looking for a new job. Continue reading The Autistic Burnout and Facing Backlash When We Step Back from The Traditional Workplace

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I Was Named in a Manosphere Hit Piece for “Gentrifying Autism”. The “Gentrification of Autism” Is a Myth. The Policing Is Real.

Lyric Holmans

Asking Neurodivergent People: Have you ever been accused of “faking” your Neurodivergence?

This summer, I was named in a blog post by some random manosphere dude (along with several others) as someone who, in their opinion, has been “responsible for the gentrification of Autism, ADHD, and other disabilities,” and, according to this man, we are “pretending to be Neurodivergent for clout” and as a way to “excuse our own mediocrity,” and “anti-social,” and other so-called “bad behaviors” that this stranger claims to see in us.

When it happened, one month ago today, I mostly ignored it, but I am deciding to speak up now, because recently, I’ve seen multiple similar pieces dragging other Autistic and ADHD adults using very similar language popping up all over the internet… and I am noticing some patterns. Continue reading I Was Named in a Manosphere Hit Piece for “Gentrifying Autism”. The “Gentrification of Autism” Is a Myth. The Policing Is Real.

Children & Families, Coworkers, Dyspraxia, Masking / Passing, Relationships / Bullies / Friendships, Substack
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If School Felt Like a Prison, You Might Be Neurodivergent – The Hidden Curriculum That Punishes Neurodivergent Kids

Lyric Holmans

Growing up, school was one of the worst experiences of my life, for many reasons.
Unfortunately, though some Neurodivergent young people love and enjoy their school years, for many of us who are Neurodivergent, school can be very difficult because it is often the first system we’re pushed into that is not designed in a way that supports our needs (pressuring us to conform to neuro-normative ideals and norms that may be out of reach for us, especially if we don’t have our basic needs met).

That’s why struggling in school, for many of us, can be one of the first signs that we might be Neurodivergent. Continue reading If School Felt Like a Prison, You Might Be Neurodivergent – The Hidden Curriculum That Punishes Neurodivergent Kids

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A black and white photo of two disabled children in strait jackets, chained to a radiator in a room with dirty walls and floors.

Autism, ADHD, and Autonomy – The One Thing Neurodivergent and Disabled People Need Most (That Keeps Getting Taken Away)

Lyric Holmans

Autonomy isn’t about doing everything alone. It’s about choosing who sits beside us. For NeuroDivergent and disabled people, that choice is often taken away, sometimes with the best intentions. Here’s what happens when we aren’t allowed to steer our own lives. Continue reading Autism, ADHD, and Autonomy – The One Thing Neurodivergent and Disabled People Need Most (That Keeps Getting Taken Away)

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A young Lyric, with their dog Ripley, looking very miserable in their Easter dress.

You Weren’t the Problem. The System Was. Here’s How I Know.

Lyric Holmans

For most of my life, I believed, falsely, that I was inherently flawed and unworthy of compassion, kindness, and respect (from other people and from myself).

It’s hard to say exactly when, where, and why this feeling of inadequacy started, because my memory is a bit wonky, and multiple events played into it. However, there are a few events in particular that do stand out to me. Continue reading You Weren’t the Problem. The System Was. Here’s How I Know.

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Lyric Rivera - NeuroDivergent Rebel - refusing assimilation into neurotypical society

The Rage That Saved Me & The Pain Before the Pride: What Success Looks Like When You’re Late-Diagnosed – A Late Identified AuDHD (Autistic and ADHD) Story

Lyric Holmans

There is a lot of talk in Neurodivergent spaces about how much relief late-identified Neurodivergent people find when they finally learn the truth about themselves. However, there’s not as much discussion on the pain and grief late identification can bring.

Don’t get me wrong, being diagnosed Autistic (and then later ADHD) did bring me relief and was a critical turning point in my life. Yet, early on, as I learned to sit with that new information, joy and relief were not my only (or even primary) emotions.

People who join me in this chapter of my life, when I am confident, happy, and proud of my multiply-Neurodivergent identity, might falsely think I’ve always been this way, or that getting here was easy. However, they’re missing out on the first thirty-eight chapters of my life’s story, and nothing could be further from the truth.
Continue reading The Rage That Saved Me & The Pain Before the Pride: What Success Looks Like When You’re Late-Diagnosed – A Late Identified AuDHD (Autistic and ADHD) Story

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A purple book cover with a rainbow flower in the middle. At the top it reads Rebecca Duffus and Lyric Rivera in lavender and pale teal text. Below that, on top of the rainbow flower, it reads "Autism, Identity and Me" in a bold white font and below that it reads "A Practical Workbook to Empower Autistic Adults"

It took me 10 years to figure out my Autistic needs. We built a shortcut – Autism, Identity and Me: A Practical Workbook to Empower Adults, the Autism workbook I needed.

Lyric Holmans

Ten years ago, I walked out of my diagnostician’s office with a label and a list of memoirs about other people’s lives. No one told me how to figure out mine… Continue reading It took me 10 years to figure out my Autistic needs. We built a shortcut – Autism, Identity and Me: A Practical Workbook to Empower Adults, the Autism workbook I needed.

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Lyric, years ago, with long black hair and pale skin from staying indoors, dressed as in a red hood and red and silver mask.

Growing Up Not Knowing About My Neurodivergent (Autistic and ADHD) Brain and What I Wish I Had Understood Sooner

Lyric Holmans

Question for my late-identified Neurodivergent readers: Is there anything you wish you’d known or understood sooner?

If you could give one piece of advice to your younger, unidentified self, what would it be?

I am Neurodivergent, but I didn’t know it (or even what Neurodivergence or Neurodiversity was) for most of my life.

Being diagnosed Autistic, at the age of 29, a few months shy of my 30th birthday, during a mental health crisis, turned my world upside down. It also saved my life. Continue reading Growing Up Not Knowing About My Neurodivergent (Autistic and ADHD) Brain and What I Wish I Had Understood Sooner