David and I don’t ‘get out’ much.

We also don’t have a habit of going places that charge admission fees very often, especially recently, because we’ve been in a period of ‘not spending’ since we’re trying to get ourselves to a place where we’ll be able to escape Texas in November when/if things get bad.

We’re hoping to either fix our RV, which needs a few serious repairs (we also considered getting an older used SUV), but right now, we’re in “save mode” (because all the repairs our RV needs will cost $4,000-6,000, possibly more).

Looking around, watching current events, even before the most recent event (the ‘attack on Trump’s ear’ – which isn’t adding up to me), I had already been worried about escalating levels of violence (targeting people like me and those I love).

Trump’s followers are hate-filled and cult-like.

They’re also primed and ready for violence. At this point, and even before this point, they seem to have been pressurized and are ready for “any excise” to “go off.”

Many of them genuinely seem to believe they are in a ‘holy war‘ of ‘good’ against ‘evil,’ a battle (many of them are talking about bringing to the physical realm) where they see people like me (and others who aren’t straight, white, straight, and Christian supporters of the patriarchy) as the enemy.

They think they’re in a holy war… against marginalized peoples.

This ‘holy war’ concept is a dangerous and polarized belief system because (in their minds) being in a battle against ‘evil‘ is a justification of violence against those who do not conform to their narrow definition of ‘good.’

Labeling one group as “good” and the other as “evil” creates a harmful dichotomy, leading to polarization and reinforcing harmful stereotypes. This binary thinking perpetuates dangerous us-vs-them mentalities, fueling conflict and violence.

If you genuinely believe you’re working “on the side of good” and “the other side is evil,” it makes it easier to do atrocious things to those on “the other side.” However, people are more complicated than the black-and-white labels of “good” and “evil.”

People are complex, multifaceted, and nuanced beings (who often change and evolve as they learn and grow).

Labeling any person as “good” OR “evil” ignores this nuance, stunting people, leaving them stuck, and not allowing room for them to change and grow.

Christian nationalists’ labeling of Queer people as “evil” has already led to the increased justification of violence and discrimination against us, perpetuating a harmful narrative that dehumanizes and endangers our communities.

This rhetoric has contributed to a surge in hate crimes, legislative attacks, and ideological violence, putting our lives and rights at risk… and things only seem to be getting worse.

Here in Texas, the bigotry is on full display, and the confidence in their exhibitions of hatred is significantly worse (than in other states we traveled through when we were on the road).

Though David and I don’t go out much, we recently decided to head to an adult night at one of the local roller skating rinks (that I used to skate in when I was growing up).

Aside from the grocery store, it’s one of the few places we’ve spent money recently.

This rink, which has always been a sanctuary for me, continues to be a ‘safe space’- a place where I can be myself without fear of discrimination or violence, a place where I can express my identity without hesitation.

Finding such safe and inclusive spaces is a rarity, especially in a state as large and often unwelcoming as Texas.

Knowing we were heading to a place where I could be myself without fear, I did something I used to do all the time:

I pulled out my favorite pair of thigh-high rainbow socks to wear under my shorts with my skates (which have matching rainbow laces).

Once upon a time, I would have grabbed my Pride socks and other assorted Pride clothing items from my dresser with very little thought.

However, recently, I’ve been much more hesitant to wear these items out in public, worried they may draw the wrong kind of (violent) attention. However, knowing we were headed to a safe space, I pulled them out.

“Got to wear these at least one more time in case I have to throw them (and all my Pride gear) away,” I say to David, not even halfway joking.

Will we be forced back into the closets?

I do not want to go back into the closet.

The thought of being unable to safely wear rainbows in public a year or four months from now is a daunting and uncertain reality.

It’s chilling to think what we might face if the Christian Nationalists have their way – the criminalization of Queer People for simply existing publicly.

The Nationalists consider Queer and Transgender content, regardless of its nature, to be pornographic.

It is a goal of the Nationalists to make pornography criminal.

This means that even this blog, where I share my thoughts and experiences as a Queer Person (despite NOT being sexual in nature), might be deemed “pornographic” and illegal one day if we don’t stop the Nationalists’ plans.

Learn more about Project 2025 and the Heritage Foundation’s goals HERE.

Info about how they plan to criminalize being trans is HERE.

Even MSNBC is talking about Project 2025 (finally).

There’s also Agenda 47, a rebrand of Project 2025 (which is equally horrible).

If you don’t know what Project 2025 is (yet): I strongly suggest Googling it (or checking out some of the links above)—especially if you have one or more marginalized identities. Everyone in America should be aware of this because, while it impacts those who are marginalized and multiply marginalized the most, it will greatly impact ALL of us should it be implemented.

It’s hard to believe that I, and many others, might be forced to return to ‘the closets’ we’ve fought so hard for years (and generations) to escape.

Will we have to throw away our pride flags because they may one day be “illegal items”?

Will I have to dye my hair back to “a natural color” because many Nationalists have a strange obsession with people who have “bright, unnatural hair colors”?

Will it get so bad that even if we hate Trump, nobody will dare speak it out loud?

Will we have to pretend to be Trump fans in order to survive?

Will it be as bad as they want it to be?

Will they succeed?

What will happen to us and everyone we care about if they succeed?

Will Texas be too dangerous for us to stay in?

Will anywhere in the United States be safe?

Will I (and many others) be forced Back into the closet(s)?

I don’t want to go back into the closet, back to living a lie that I’m expected to live (because otherwise, there may be threats to my safety).

Like all people, I want the right to live as my authentic self without fearing that being that self will prompt others to harm me, but lately, I’ve been worried, unsure if being “out and proud” will even be possible in the not-so-distant future.

Project 2025 has a 180-day plan.

One hundred and eighty days is only six months.

If Trump takes office, they plan to reshape our entire governmental structure within 180 days from Inauguration Day in January, with devastating impacts for marginalized peoples.

The rest of this post is available on Substack.

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– Lyric Lark Rivera