It never fails, multiple times a week, when I share my experience of being Autistic or ADHD, some ignorant waffle feels the need to pop into my comments section with some sort of nonsense such as (but in no way limited to) “You’re not Autistic“ (or ADHD), “Everyone’s Autistic/ADHD or Neurodivergent these days“, “It’s all the chemicals in the food/air/water or the vaccines“. There is also the classic “We didn’t have so many people who are Autistic or ADHD in my day…. and none of it is true.
I am Autistic and ADHD… even if you can’t ‘see’ it.
First, I am, most definitely, Autistic. I understand how that can be hard for some to believe, because I had a hard time believing it myself when I was first diagnosed nearly 10 years ago (mostly because I still had a very limited understanding of ‘autism’ and the vastness of Autistic experiences back then). Ten years later, people still don’t think ‘autism’ can look like me.
I’m also definitely ADHD, though I had a period where I’d set my life and tasks up in such a way that I’d doubted that for a month or two.
Recently, when working on my latest book project (the adult version of Rebecca Duffus’s popular Autism, Identity and Me Workbook) with deadlines, spreadsheets, and other people, I can now say with confidence that “I am without a doubt an ADHDer” (and I’m now more aware than ever how, for me, my ADHD is mostly problem because of capitalism and how our society is set up with deadlines and other demands that I do tedious tasks my ADHD brain hates).
If I had more support, and the expectations were different, I can’t help but wonder what my life would look like.
When I was ‘free floating‘ on my own, only engaging in things I’m good at and that give me those feel-good chemicals, I struggled much less than when I had to do the things that drain and bore me. However, once I had to take on tasks that drained me, I found it very hard to motivate myself to get out of bed, start activities, or stay on my assignment (though Focus Space’s morning planning calls and body doubling sessions that are designed to support those of us with ADHD brains have helped immensely). Since these ADHD-focused solutions helped me so much, I no longer doubt my ADHD.
No, everyone is not Autistic/ADHD or Neurodivergent these days.
Second, if ‘everyone‘ were autistic/ADHD/Neurodivergent, we wouldn’t be a neuro-minority anymore, and people would know better than to say stuff like this.
As far as I can tell, depending on where you look and who you ask, most estimates say that 15% to 20% of the world’s population is Neurodivergent (though I, personally, suspect the number is much higher, since these estimates often only count the types of Neurodivergence people are born with, ignoring many who should be included under the Neurodivergent umbrella).
It’s not “something in the water“… or “vaccines.”
I can tell you, looking around at my closest family members, and multiple generations back, that I, personally, come from a Neurodivergent family, and many of my family members are also Autistic and/or ADHD (though not all of them are/were diagnosed).
While there are some forms of Neurodivergence that can be acquired in life, often the ones we’re born with are the main ones discussed.
Autism has an estimated heritability of 70–90% and is highly familial. ADHD also has high heritability (74% or more, depending on where you look).
It’s not toxins, the water, or some sort of brain injury (or something that can be cured or healed), and the vaccine myth (that Autism is a vaccine injury) has been debunked many times.
We’re born this way, and even if we learn to compensate or mask our differences as we age, we will still be Autistic and ADHD the day we die.
Autistic people and ADHDers have always been here… even before we had names to identify these specific differences.
There aren’t “suddenly more Autistic people“ or “more who are ADHD“… it’s just that, once these differences were named, and awareness and understanding of these differences started to spread, more of us were identified, or felt less pressure to blend in or hide and keep our Neurotypes to ourselves.
It used to be illegal for disabled people to appear in public in the U.S.
Once upon a time, being visibly Neurodivergent (or disabled) in public was much more dangerous (and sometimes illegal).
From 1867 to 1974, various cities across the United States had what’s commonly referred to as “ugly laws” which made it illegal for visibly disabled people to appear in public or, more specifically, “any person, who is diseased, maimed, mutilated or deformed in any way, so as to be an unsightly or disgusting object, to expose himself or herself to public view.“ These ordinances prevented some people with visible disabilities from going out in public at all, and treated disability and poverty as problems to hide instead of human differences that required understanding, empathy, grace, and inclusion.
In the early days of the medical community naming ‘autism’ (1940s-1980s), many professionals, falsely, held the view that “refrigerator mothers” were to blame for causing their children’s struggles, due to ‘poor attachment‘ and/or ‘absent parenting‘.
Because parents were often blamed when their children struggled, many experienced tremendous shame around having an Autistic child.
Due to the large amounts of shame and stigma against Autistic people and other disabilities, historically, many Autistic children were placed in institutions, out of the public eye. Institutionalization wasn’t rare; it was standard practice.
Until the 1970s, many U.S. states required disabled people to be subjected to forced sterilization and institutionalization.
While many large care facilities closed in the 1980s, institutionalization was still a common practice, frequently suggested to parents and loved ones of Autistic people.
People were ashamed to admit they had an Autistic loved one, so once left in these places, Autistic people weren’t talked about, which might have given people who come from ‘families without autism‘ that we weren’t there… but we were (we were just hidden).
The truth is… There were plenty of Neurodivergent people back then, but nobody was willing to talk about it. Also, the pressure to assimilate was much greater in those days, because those of us who were unable to assimilate were in great danger of being locked up, far from the public eye.
In response to this danger, our parents either hid us or pressured us to blend in at all costs.
I am 39… I have always been Autistic and ADHD (even though I didn’t know it for most of my life). I have been here and AuDHD for the past 39 years, even before these labels were given to me.
There are many like me (and older) in our world today who were missed and are only now being identified, because our families were afraid of having us assessed due to shame, misunderstandings, and stigma.
Just because you didn’t, personally, know any Neurodivergent people when you were growing up, it doesn’t mean we didn’t exist.
This post was also shared on Patreon and Substack.
This post was written with the assistance of Focused Space (a sponsor of the Neurodivergent Rebel blog).
What is Focused Space?
Focused Space is an ADHD-focused, Neurodiversity affirming, goal‑setting, and online co‑working / body‑doubling platform designed to help people prioritize, stay motivated, and bust through procrastination (and it is something I believe in and personally use every day).
More info:
Learn more about how I use it here!
I get requests (that I mostly ignore) to do brand partnerships all the time, because I don’t want to partner with products unless I actually find them useful and high-quality. I also want to work with brands whose owners and processes align with my personal standards and ethics.
That’s why I’m excited to announce that the Neurodivergent Rebel Blog is officially partnering with Focused Space, and our community members can now get access to Focused Space at a special rate of 20% off forever when you use the code “NEURODIVERGENTREBEL” at checkout via the button below or at get.focused.space/neurodivergentrebel:
Now when you Get Focused Space via the link above you’re getting discounted access to a great tool as while supporting the work I do here at the NeuroDivergent Rebel Blog.
Also, if you ever join a 7am CST wakeup call, or pop into an un-hosted Quiet Owl session on a week day, you might bump into me.
Not sure if Focused Space is for you?
- You can start with a free 14-day trial.
- And because this is an ADHD-friendly app, Focused Space will send you an email reminder 7 days before you are billed, so you can cancel after the first week if it’s not a good fit for you.
Hope to see you over there!