Here are a few things you should NOT say when someone lets you know that they are autistic.
Published by
Christa Holmans - Neurodivergent Rebel
Christa Holmans, an autistic self-advocate from Texas, runs the the internationally recognized neurodiversity lifestyle blog Neurodivergent Rebel. Neurodivergent Rebel opened her blog in 2016 as a way to introduce people unfamiliar with autism to neurodiversity. Her blog, which is sometimes released in written format and also via YouTube video, explores the ideology of neurodiversity and the creative expressions of autistic people. Holmans’ blog pushes for acceptance of neurological differences and respect for the autonomy of neurodivergent people. Holmans is also known as the pioneer of the #askingautistics hashtag, which is often accompanied by a short question about everyday autistic experiences. This simple hashtag connects neurodivergent people who would not otherwise have a reason to engage with each other to foster understanding of the autistic experience. View all posts by Christa Holmans - Neurodivergent Rebel
I wonder if “But you don’t look autistic!” is so common because non-autistics tend to think it’s possible (for them, at least) to “just know” everything about someone by looking at them. When they somehow don’t “just know” that we’re autistic, that calls into question one of their big assumptions about what makes autistic people “flawed” (because we don’t always “just know” things about people the way they think they do).
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Loved this video! 😉
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thanks for educating!!!!!!
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I’ve definitely heard several of these (including “But you don’t look autistic!” and “I never would’ve guessed!”, and “But isn’t it over-diagnosed?”) and I’m more forgiving when they come from people who are maybe not as informed, but when it comes from people who should know better…
Anyway, thank you for making this!
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😂 I love the “my friend has an NT child and you’re nothing like them” comeback! 💯 💚
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The format is engaging and interesting. Will definitely share this with others.
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Loved this! Thank you so much.
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I was recntly diagnosed at 25 and when I told my mom she just couldn’t fathom how that was even a possibility; and she said “Well I have worked with people who have that and your nothing like them”
Yeah mom, probably because I had to learn to act a certain to not constantly have others treat me negatively because I was dubbed “weird” very early on by my peers- also, did you forget about all the issues I had with sensory things as a kid? Like clothing, sound, temperature, and physical contact?
Love this video!
Did you ever hear “Well why can’t you just do insert any activity that causes anxiety and sensory overload here?”
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As far as the “You can’t be autistic; you’re FUNNY”. This comes from quite a few not understanding the concept of sarcasm and taking things more literally than Amelia Bedelia. Like when someone hears bad news and says “Oh, great!” and someone else doesn’t understand why it’s great. Hence, the conclusion drawn would be if you can’t understand sarcasm, you can’t understand humor, satire, etc.
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I have only heard these comments said by Autistic people when saying what Non-Autistic people would or could or have said to Autistic people.
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one thing I am tired of are the people who when I tell them I have autism they say oh well I have a bit of autism myself. Either you have autism or you don’t it’s as simple as that. Then I am tired of the people who ask to explain autism what they should expect because their child was just diagnosed. Well I can’t explain exactly what to expect because it’s a spectrum. There things I may do and things that gave other people ques that I have autism but your son or daughter might not be the same. You are right it is way under diagnosed I was given the test but they came back as me not having autism until I was in my early 20’s and someone gave me the test who works with alot of autistics. I am 31 and my dad also is undiagnosed autistic. He would never take the test even if he was given the chance though. My dad can’t read and I can, my dad has bad hand writing and so do I but mine is readable and his isn’t. My dad is like a child still and I am not. Anyways I also have a friend who is in her 40’s and they wouldn’t give her the test until a couple years ago and she found out she has autism.
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When someone says they’re a little bit autistic, ask them if they’re also a little bit pregnant.
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