I’ve been thinking a lot about “Autistic Meltdowns” recently, how they are similar to other types of overloads, what causes them, and what people need to prevent and recover from them.
I’ve been reflecting on the fact that Autistic Overloads have their own name, pondering “why” our overloads have their own name when everyone occasionally gets overloaded. I’ve been thinking about how I (and many other Autistic People) start the day with my emotional load already “at capacity.”
I’ve been reflecting on how much easier my days are when I can start with “more space” in my container (compared to beginning when I’m already ready to overflow) and how our society’s design contributes to my constantly being spread too thin.
Would non-autistic people be overwhelmed more frequently (if they lived in a world not designed for them)? What changes could we make to our society to make it more inclusive for everyone?
ID: Lyric, a pale skinned nonbinary person with black hair hair with dark green ends and shaved sides, is sitting in an RV on the sofa in front of a window that has the blinds pulled shut behind them. They are wearing a green v-neck t-shirt.
Substack subscribers, Patreon members, and YouTube channel members had access to this video on Sunday, September 15, 2024. The video’s public release will be Wednesday, October 2, 2024.
This video is based on the Substack post from September 2, 2024.
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Transcript:
Lyric Rivera: Hi everyone, Lyric here, and I’m the author of the bestselling business ethics book, Workplace NeuroDiversity Rising.
I am an Autistic ADHD adult, and I share my experiences as a NeuroDivergent individual, helping to reduce the stigma and share information about NeuroDivergence, and NeuroDiversity, NeuroInclusion, and why it matters to everyone with a brain, which is probably you too.
This week, I am going to be talking about normalizing big feelings and overwhelm.
Specifically, I’m going to be talking about my experience with meltdowns, as an Autistic Person.
If you would like to know more, please stay tuned.
Intro-music,
Lyric Rivera: I learned to repress, instead of express, because people reacted poorly whenever I tried to share what I wanted, need, and felt.
I swallowed my rage, discomfort, worries, and pain, over and over again, because I was used to people around me not giving me space to express my needs, my feelings, and what I thought.
I learned to bottle it all up, because I had no external outlet for my experiences.
Everything that is unexpressed is put away, or on pause, and placed in a holding area, which has limited space.
Unprocessed emotions become fuel, for a mental explosion, if they’re not vented (before it’s too late).
As a multiply NeuroDivergent Person, who’s also Queer in multiple ways, I find myself “putting things away” frequently, because much of my experience is beyond what others can understand, or have space for.
For most of my life, I had a very large “container” allowing me to “store” all of my pain. Until my “container would fill up.” Then, when the pain became too much, and too much pain accumulated, eventually I would overflow, melting down, making room to swallow more suffering.
I’ve been thinking a lot about Autistic meltdowns recently, how they are similar to other types of overloads, what causes them, and what people need to prevent, and recover from, meltdowns.
I’ve been reflecting on the fact that Autistic Overloads have their own name, pondering why our overloads have their own name, when everyone, occasionally, gets overloaded.
I’ve been thinking about how I, and many other Autistic People, start the day with our emotional loads already at capacity.
I’ve been reflecting on how much easier my days are, when I can start with more space in my container, compared to beginning when I’m already ready to overflow, and how our society’s design contributes contributes to me being constantly spread too thin.
Would non-autistic people be overwhelmed more frequently if they lived in a world not designed for them?
What changes could we make to our society to make it more inclusive for everyone?
It’s time we reconsidered society’s design.
Our world caters to non-autistic people, but imagine how much easier life would be if it also considered the needs of Autistics, and other NeuroDivergent People.
For the most part, Autistic overload is not that different from overloads and non-autistics, with two main differences.
One being the triggers.
The world we live in has been designed by and for non-autistic people, which means the world as we know it is literally designed not to trigger non-autistic slash neuro-average people.
Non Autistic people live in a world optimized for their needs. They aren’t getting set off by everyday things that can hinder Autistic success.
On the other hand, the things that trigger me are everywhere, integrated into modern society.
Fluorescent lighting, strong smells, crowded, echoey spaces, surprises, last minute plan changes, without the grace I need to process new information, and expectations that I behave, act, and communicate, as non Autistics do, although our brains are very different from one another.
Additionally, because Autistic people are in the minority, the things that trigger us, such as sensory overload, are not seen as socially acceptable. In contrast, non Autistic triggers, like stress from work, or relationships are seen as “reasonable.”
Another difference, in Autistic overloads, is the intensity.
Many, not all, Autistic People have intense emotional experiences.
Since our internal emotional experiences can be powerful, when we feel strong emotions, our outward expression matches what we feel inside.
If you’ve ever had a panic attack, you know what being overwhelmed and afraid feels like, it’s not a pleasant feeling.
As someone who has both, I can compare the two pretty easily.
Autistic overwhelms share a few traits with panic attacks, in that there is, for me, an intense emotional fear response, and adrenaline pumping through my body.
I feel as if I’m in grave danger, and I may experience feelings of wanting to escape, or get out of whatever situation I’m in, even if escape is impossible, or unsafe.
Some Autistic, and other NeuroDivergent People, may experience their emotions more intensely, and have less impulse control. Because of this, our reactions to overloads, of all types, can seem bigger than those of people who experience their emotions less intensely, or have more impulse control.
Imagine a world where everyone is met with compassion and understanding.
In such a world, I would be overwhelmed less frequently, because when I remove myself from the world, and surround myself with people who get me, I am overwhelmed and meltdown less. This underscores the crucial role of understanding and compassion in reducing the frequency of meltdowns.
Lyric Rivera: Knowledge is power.
When I was newly diagnosed, I didn’t know the types of situations I should avoid, and I had more frequent meltdowns, and other kinds of overloads. However, as I gain knowledge about my triggers, and I learned to remove them from my environment, the frequency of my meltdowns decreased, which makes me wonder:
What if our world was less triggering for people like me?
For instance, what if there were more quiet spaces in public areas, or sensory friendly lighting, and other sensory friendly designs, were common in our society?
What if people understood meltdowns, like other kinds of overloads?
What if people acted compassionately, when they saw someone breaking down, instead of judging them, for not “keeping it all together?”
What if it wasn’t? shameful to have big feelings, or to become overwhelmed.
These are just a few changes that would make a significant difference in my life, in helping me with overloads and meltdowns.
What is something you would change about the world to make it less overwhelming for you?
Do you have any thoughts about what the world would be like, if it was catered more to Autistic and NeuroDivergent needs?
Do you think you would have more, or less meltdowns, in a world that was more compassionate, and was more sensory friendly, and respected the fact that people, sometimes, need time to adjust to new ideas, and to schedule changes, and if people just were better to us when we’re not doing well?
Do you think you’d have more or less meltdowns? Because I can’t help, but feel like if neuro-average, and non-autistic people, lived in a world, that completely ignored their needs, they’d be overwhelmed more frequently too.
All right, everyone.
Thank you so much for hanging out with me, on my couch today, in our living room, and letting me talk about this thought, I’ve just been having recently, about meltdowns and how they can be exasperated, or made easier, depending on situations, and environments we’re in, and the people we’re around, and how people respond, when we are overwhelmed, whether they’re compassionate, or if they are blaming us.
Because in my experience, when people blame me, and aren’t compassionate for me, and make me feel worse, it often can make my meltdown worse.
I’d love to know your thoughts, your experience, your ideas, what you think about these ideas.
This was based on a Substack post that was put out September 2nd, 2024.
The video will hopefully be out today, which is Sunday, September 15th, for my paid subscribers (on Substack, Patreon, and YouTube).
I will be releasing it to the wider public sometime in October, in about two weeks, when it’s been finalized.
Thank you to my Substack and Patreon subscribers, and the YouTube channel members, because you literally do make this content possible. It wouldn’t happen, without your support. I’m eternally grateful for you.
If you have suggestions, requests, or comments, on future video topics, that you would like to see covered, I’d love to know, drop them in the comments below.
That’s, that’s it for today. I will talk to you next time. Bye all.
Outro music plays… .
