I knew, at the age of four or five, that I wasn’t a girl, but I couldn’t articulate what I knew, and the world told me I was a girl, and I had to get used to that somehow.
I also knew, around the same time, that I was not like other kids, but not knowing I was NeuroDivergent, also meant not having the language to describe that experience either, and falsely believing that I was an inferior, lazy, NeuroTypical child, and then, eventually, a inferior lazy NeuroTypical adult. I held myself to those NeuroTypical standards, even to my own detriment.
I forced myself to fit into their boxes, at the expense of my own mental and physical health.
I held myself to CIS heteronormative standards, often feeling like I was living a lie and pretending to be someone I wasn’t, for the comfort of other people.
I hit for safety, to blend in, and not make waves. I hid to avoid being the target of bullying and harassment, though bullies still managed to find me. That’s what happens when you grow up in a violent, hostile place, where you don’t feel you’re safe, and you are forced into the peripheries of society.
Being invisible was safer and preferable to standing out, so I did my best to be invisible, and it almost killed me.
Eventually, I got to a point where I couldn’t do it anymore. I came to a place where I could no longer maintain the complex social mask that had protected me for most of my life, and when it all fell apart, I found myself in a place of crisis and was diagnosed Autistic at 29. Continue reading Queer, Trans, NeuroDivergent, Autistic: The Human Need for Authenticity
Over the past five years, there have been many videos breaking down different questions and parts of my Autistic experience, sharing some of your experiences, and talking about what it’s like to be an Autistic person, but every now and then I still get the question…. “Well, that’s great Lyric, but what is autism, exactly?”
It’s a question I dodge a lot of the times, if I’m honest, and that is because autism is something that’s very hard to quantify because… it is a lot of different things to a lot of people, depending on the lens through what you are viewing. For example, autism, when you ask the medical community is very different than if you ask an Autistic Person what autism is… or a parent of a newly diagnosed Autistic child.
Depending on who you ask, you’re going to get very different responses, and even asking and looking at Autistic Person to Autistic Person, what autism is within those contexts, and for each and every Autistic Individual, also, can be very different.
Continue reading What is Autism to Me – One Autistic Person￼
We find the proposal to adopt the term ‘profound autism’ highly problematic, as well as the overall emphasis on behavioural interventions, excluding more recent, promising approaches. We disagree with the recommendation to focus clinical research on randomised controlled trials for short-term interventions, including medication and behavioural trials. Continue reading Open letter to the Lancet Commission on the future of care and clinical research in autism
Every human being, NeuroDivergent or NeuroTypical, has a unique sensory profile that can vary significantly from person to person, even from Autistic person to Autistic person. Continue reading Empowering People with Sensory Processing Differences by Creating Sensory Friendly Spaces
Hey humans Lyric here, and there’s something that really bothers me with how even I talk about autism and the NeuroDivergent experience…. and that is how we always seem to use NeuroTypical people as the baseline for human existence. If you are at all curious and want to learn more, please do stay tuned. Continue reading Humanity is a Spectrum and NeuroTypical is NOT the Default￼
This week I’m going to be talking about some of my interests as an Autistic Person that were deemed air quotes “inappropriate” by adults around me.
If you’ve ever heard that sometimes Autistic children “may have interests that are not appropriate for their age or grade level.” This would be me sharing my experience of that. If you are at all curious, please do stay tuned. Continue reading Autism & “Age-Inappropriate Interests” – My Autistic Experience
Unfortunately, sometimes as Autistic People, when people find out we are Autistic, it can cause us to be infantilized by people around us.
Continue reading Autism & Infantilization – My Experience with Autistic Infantilization
The missing generation is Autistic/NeuroDivergent adults, typically growing up in the 1980s or earlier, who were not discovered to be NeuroDivergent as children (because of diagnostic limitations of the time).
Autism was not even in the DSM until 1980. So prior to 1980, Autistic People weren’t even listed in the diagnostic manual. That generation, and generations prior grew up when understanding was very limited, leaving generations of Autistic People undiscovered, or missed. Continue reading Where are the Missing Generation of Autistic & NeuroDivergent Adults?
Makeup is just one of many reasons non-autistic people have told me that I couldn’t possibly be Autistic and I’m going to share a few of the other reasons, things I have heard. I’d love for you to share with us things that you have heard as well. Please drop a comment. Continue reading The Damage of Dismissing Autistic People When We Ask For Help
Like with many things, being Autistic means that I don’t fit into the box. I make my own box. I am the square peg that can’t be put through the round hole without damaging the peg and my experience of gender is no different. Continue reading Escaping the Autism Closet – A NeuroQueer Journey