Photo fo Lyric, a pale skinned, mixed race (Native & white) nonbinary human in their mid 30s, with short green and teal hair and shaved sides. They have armpit hair and are wearing sunglasses and a black top while glancing sideways and running their fingers through their hair. They are outside surrounded by green trees.

NONBINARY 101 – for International NonBinary Day

I’ve got some Common Questions About Being NonBinary but please drop your questions in the comments below as you think of them.

What IS nonbinary?

NonBinary is an umbrella term for MANY identifies of people who don’t identify as the binary male of female. This includes gender fluid people (like me), people who don’t identify with any gender, people who identify with multiple genders, etc.

I find it annoying when people tell nonbinary people that nonbinary people can’t make up a new gender.” – NonBinary humans in the audience – have you ever heard this?

Nonbinary isn’t a NEW gender – in reality, the binary gender system, is the NEWER way to describe gender, that is rooted in colonialism and oppressions of Native peoples all over the globe. Gender isn’t, and never has been binary.

Even sex isn’t binary – intersex people exist, and are also harmed and erased by the false idea of this gender binary. What pronouns do NonBinary people use?

Nonbinary people can use any pronouns really, so it’s a good idea to ask the person (or anyone what pronouns they use).

I use they/them pronouns or xe/xem pronouns. I also would write my name as Mx. – instead of Ms. or Mr.I like they/them, because: it means you’re not making assumptions about me, based on what you assume people with bodies like mine should be like, and how we should act.

NeoPronouns are cool for people who struggle to understand how they/them can refer to a singular person. Which is something I am not going to explain today.

I’m someone who values truth, and living openly and authentically. Because people who are going to make the wrong assumptions about me are most likely to assume I’m a woman, and call me “she/her/‘mam”, for me personally, almost anything feels better than she/her pronouns, because feminine pronouns fell like a like to me.

Are NonBinary People Trans?

Some NonBinary People don’t see themselves as trans/identify as trans, some do. This is because to be transgender is defined as not identifying with the gender you were assigned at birth.

It us unlikely for people to not be assigned a binary male of female gender in many modern cultures. For example: I was assigned female at birth, but don’t identify as female – so I DO see myself as transgender in that context. I also share and related to the experiences of other trans people (much more than cis people (especially cis women, who I struggle to relate to the most).

I can’t speak for nonbinary people who don’t identify as trans – if this is you, I would LOVE for you to drop a comment and share more about your perspective on this with us.

Wouldn’t it be interesting if we didn’t assign genders to children at birth, and let the kids tell us their genders when they’re ready? What kind of an impact do you think that would have on child development? What implications could this have for society – if all babies were treated the same way – (because research has already shown that people handle babies differently depending on the gender they assume the baby to be)?

Do NonBinary People Get Dysphoria?

I had a lot of gender dysphoria, starring from a young age – before I even started school. I must have been 4 of 5 when it started, and things only intensified and worsened in middle school, when I hit puberty and “blossomed” one summer.In my life there have been times where this dysphoria went away entirely, but then something in life would happen that would trigger it’s return full force just when I’d think it was gone, or getting better it would show up where I least expected it… until I started to pay attention to it, what was triggering it, and started listening to something inside me begging to realize I’ was being untrue to myself.

I would say this biggest thing that gives me dysphoria these days is my voice. It’s funny because I’ve developed a love hate relationship with my voice. I did some voice acting recently, and got to put my voice into another character, and that’s easier for me to watch back, because its representing someone else.

That was interesting, but more frequently I’m editing my videos, and creating close captions and transcriptions for them. I used to hate watching my videos, but since I’ve cut my hair, and have stated dressing and acting more authentically, that’s gotten easier for me – but my voice is still a trigger.

There are also other types of dysphoria that people don’t speak about enough, in addition to physical dysphoria about people’s bodies, or voice dysphoria, there’s also social dysphoria – which is something we could do an entire video on.

Do NonBinary People Transition?

The thing most people don’t understand about transition is that it’s not always linear, and that transition can look like and mean different things to different people.This is especially true with people in the nonBinary spectrum, who’s identities can vary widely from person to person. Our goal’s are likely as un-binary as we are.

Something else that cis people don’t get: There are different types of transitions.

There’s social transition – changing your name, your hair, your pronouns, or the way you dress. This is often a first step for many trans people, and may be where some trans and nonbinary people stop.

With medical transition – a trans/nonbinary person may go on puberty blockers, hormone therapy, and/or other medical interventions to help align someone’s outside to how they identify internally.

Some trans/nonbinary people won’t transition socially or medically. This doesn’t make them any less valid. There are many reasons a trans person may choose to or be unable to transition (socially or medically). Trans people who don’t transition are still valid.

I’ve tried to conform, I’ve tried to blend in…. I’ve masked my Autism, and I’ve masked my gender identity. Hiding my true self from the world hasn’t made me feel good about myself.

Do YOU feel good if you’re expected to pretend to be something/someone you’re not?

With being nonbinary, most people will always assume I’m something I’m not, which makes me feel like I’m living a lie. I’m not a woman, and don’t want to pretend to be one.

Where are the other NonBinary Humans at????

Photo fo Lyric, a pale skinned, mixed race (Native & white) nonbinary human in their mid 30s, with short green and teal hair and shaved sides. They have armpit hair and are wearing sunglasses and a black top while glancing sideways and running their fingers through their hair. They are outside surrounded by green trees.

Help me get the word out!!! – If you like what I do, and would like more, please consider subscribing on Patreon. This blog is made possible by support from readers like YOU!  (Sharing my content is also, equally helpful!)

With gratitude, – Lyric

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