Tag Archives: Anxiety

Expectations, Change, & Growth – Oh my!!!

I LOVE a good plan. I’m a planner. Sometimes it hurts when unforeseen kinks appear in my plans. This week I talk about some things I do to manage my own expectations, in case things don’t go exactly the way I plan them.

Zero to My Own Hero – The Evolution of Me

Over time I’ve changed, grown taller and wiser. My physical appearance, ways of thinking, and self-wort have all teetered back and forth, from one extreme to the other. Every experience is an opportunity for growth, if we are open, even the most difficult situations have the power to teach us something

A friend once said to me that she remembered that I “wasn’t good at anything” when we were kids. This week I talk about what’s changed over the years. Life hasn’t always been easy but I make the most of things.

Most importantly, I’ve gained more self-confidence through growing a better understanding of myself.

Neurodivergent Rebel – Learning How to Drive

I consider myself a mostly competent driver nowadays, but this wasn’t always the case. In fact, learning to drive was one of the most difficult things I’ve ever done. I needed my independence as a teenager.

I’ve never lived in a city where not having a car works. Even now, my job is several towns away from where I live. Learning to drive was the only way I could see myself getting the things I wanted – so I did it.

I had a bad habit of rear-ending people and backing-up into things when I first started to drive. My mother worried about me anytime I was out on the road (for good reason).

Now, at the age of 30, my main problem is “curb-checks”. Still a work in progress but better than I was yesterday.

NeuroRebel – Float Away Mind – Fiction Based on Reality

The Texas heat is especially unforgiving in August. A dark-haired woman sits in her car, flipping a key chain between her fingers, as she eagerly waits for the next green light. She sits, lost in the sensation of the smooth jingling keys, momentarily unaware of the world around her.

In an instant, the woman is jolted back to reality by an unsettling, noise.

A small child is running at full speed up the sidewalk towards the elementary school. Heart racing, it takes Kat a moment to pair the sound, a loud high pitched screech, with the noise maker.

Finally, the light turns green and Kat manages inch up two whole car lengths. She reaches up and adjusts here rear-view mirror. “That happy kid”, she laughs to herself “I was never that happy when I went to that school.”

Suddenly Kat found herself reliving a memory. First person video of a familiar classroom began to roll in her head. Vivid and colorful memories, with infinite looping playback.

Kat found herself toe to toe with an old nemesis, her first-grade teacher.

This new teacher was a force to be reckoned with. Mrs. B. demanded blind obedience from her students. She was a “my way or the highway” kind of teacher. Students who questioned her were quickly placed on her “shit list”.

The traffic light turned green.

HONK! HONK!

Kat quickly re-entered reality, pressing into the accelerator with enough force to make up for the distance she lost while daydreaming at the light.

“Mind on the road!” Kat tells herself, as she hits play on the touch screen car stereo. “No thinking. No distractions!”

Twenty perfect piano notes dance, tickle the car speakers as Mad World by Gary Jules takes over the car.

Once again Kat’s mind had floated away.  Gone someplace else, lost in a music video created by her mind. “Teacher tell me what’s my lesson? Looked right through me. . . . looked right through me.”

“Shit!” Red light. Kat slams on the breaks, managing to stop the beat up Nissan Sentra just in time. “Fuck!”

“Mindfulness. Right now. Right now. Right now” she muttered under her breath, as she spun the stereo dial until it clicked into the mute position.

 

 

 

 

 

Answering YOUR Questions!

I’ve got an exciting update! I read each and every comment, email, and question. However, don’t always have time to respond back to them all. To make things more efficient, I’m going to start answering your questions in my videos!