Things I Got in Trouble for Growing up as an Undiagnosed Autistic ADHDer

I didn’t find out I was Autistic until I was 29, and my ADHD wasn’t diagnosed until several years later, however, autism and ADHD are both lifelong neurodevelopmental differences.
This means I was Autistic and ADHD my entire life, growing up, as a child, and I will be Autistic ADHD, my brain will be the same, the day I die.
There were obvious manifestations of my brain difference as a child growing up, many of which were labeled as “behavioral problems” and dismissed, or I was constantly scolded for acting in a very Autistic ADHD way.
Continue reading Things I Got in Trouble for Growing up as an Undiagnosed Autistic ADHDer

Queer, Trans, NeuroDivergent, Autistic: The Human Need for Authenticity

I knew, at the age of four or five, that I wasn’t a girl, but I couldn’t articulate what I knew, and the world told me I was a girl, and I had to get used to that somehow.

I also knew, around the same time, that I was not like other kids, but not knowing I was NeuroDivergent, also meant not having the language to describe that experience either, and falsely believing that I was an inferior, lazy, NeuroTypical child, and then, eventually, a inferior lazy NeuroTypical adult. I held myself to those NeuroTypical standards, even to my own detriment.

I forced myself to fit into their boxes, at the expense of my own mental and physical health.

I held myself to CIS heteronormative standards, often feeling like I was living a lie and pretending to be someone I wasn’t, for the comfort of other people.

I hit for safety, to blend in, and not make waves. I hid to avoid being the target of bullying and harassment, though bullies still managed to find me. That’s what happens when you grow up in a violent, hostile place, where you don’t feel you’re safe, and you are forced into the peripheries of society.

Being invisible was safer and preferable to standing out, so I did my best to be invisible, and it almost killed me.

Eventually, I got to a point where I couldn’t do it anymore. I came to a place where I could no longer maintain the complex social mask that had protected me for most of my life, and when it all fell apart, I found myself in a place of crisis and was diagnosed Autistic at 29. Continue reading Queer, Trans, NeuroDivergent, Autistic: The Human Need for Authenticity

I’m Autistic PLUS – Co Occurrence, Multiple NeuroDivergence, & Why Its Rarely JUST Autism

It’s rarely JUST Autism…

I am Autistic and I also have ADHD. There are some mental health issues I have, some diagnosed, some not. I have diagnosed anxiety disorder, in addition to being Autistic. I have a diagnosis of IBS. I have migraines and seizures in addition to being Autistic. I have insomnia in addition to being Autistic.

There’s just many things that Autistic People can have going on in addition to being Autistic. I am also hyperlexic, in addition to being Autistic. I am not just Autistic. I am Autistic and I have more going on in my life, which, I mean, it’s the case with NeuroTypical People. Continue reading I’m Autistic PLUS – Co Occurrence, Multiple NeuroDivergence, & Why Its Rarely JUST Autism

How NeuroDivergent Masking and Burnout Can Become a Perpetual Cycle

DHD, OCD, whatver… is pressured to hide the parts of them that would out them as having a different brain –  So some NeuroDivergent people learn to hide those struggles and those differences, in order to appear more NeuroTypical. Continue reading How NeuroDivergent Masking and Burnout Can Become a Perpetual Cycle

Image description: The Intersections on The Spectrum podcast logo is a rainbow gradient word cloud in the shape of a person with outstretched arms. An image of Lyric looking up and towards the distance. Lyric is a white passing person of mixed heritage with brown eyes and arched eyebrows. They have a tuft of emerald green hair poking out from under a black hat.

Intersections on the Spectrum: Lyric Holmans

Recently, I had the pleasure of being interviewed for the Podcast Intersections on the Spectrum. In episode of Intersections on the Spectrum we discuss my identities, lobbying against ABA, open relationships, and living in an RV. Continue reading Intersections on the Spectrum: Lyric Holmans

Autistic and NeuroDivergent People’s Struggles Are Invisible Pt 1: Masking & Sensory Issues

many of the struggles Autistic People have are invisible because they have to do with how we process information and interact with the world. These things are happening behind the scenes. Continue reading Autistic and NeuroDivergent People’s Struggles Are Invisible Pt 1: Masking & Sensory Issues